Jake tells me I need to write a book. It's title would be something like "Things Jake Has Said That I Can't Post on the Blog." It's amazing the stuff this guy will verbalize. Well, if I were ever to publish such a filthy bit of literature, I would definitely have to use this photo on the inside of the cover jacket.

He looks like a perfectly respectable kind of guy, no? Well, let me tell you what this guy said to me the other day. I had ordered some much needed maternity clothing online (I HATE shopping for maternity clothes.) and I was taking them out of their packaging and showing Jake what I had purchased. I pulled out a pair of underwear. Jake's immediate reaction: "That's . . . a lot of fabric."

It's true, I am currently larger than I have been in the past, but give me a break--I am seven months pregnant.

Yesterday, my Ellie proved to be her father's daughter and also gained some huge points in the Mommy book. We were driving to Costco, when she piped up, "Mommy, Daddy's fatter than you." It took me a moment to register what she had just said. I started to laugh. Then, she topped that comment with, "Do you know why? It's because he sticks out right here." And with that, as I glanced back at her, I saw her grab at some large imaginary love handles. I just about died laughing.

"You're funny, Ellie!" "Mom, I'm not funny, I'm smart!" Yeah, yeah, it's true.

So, do you think I spared my husband? Of course not. I HAD to tell him.

Jake, some day, when you ask her why she says the things she says, she's going to tell you, "I learned it from watching you!"