Friday, August 29, 2008


I always figured I would be a rock star or a movie star or supermodel. Fairly recently I realized that those aspirations would likely never come to fruition, considering the facts that I am short, not svelte, I don't really sing, and as I recall, I hated the one drama class I took in high school. (Good thing I went to law school and married myself a lawyer...)

Imagine a certain sport where just as you think you've got the ball and you're going to score the goal, you realize that the game has changed completely. The teams are different, the shape and color of the ball have changed, and now your goal is on the other side of the field. The outcome of the game hinges on the action that you take at that point. Continue as you were? That certainly doesn't help your team. Sit down and call it quits? Well, it's only quits for you--the game will certain continue whether you participate or not. Ultimately, success only comes when you re-evaluate the situation, change your game plan, and head in a new direction. This action may not ultimately lead to success, but you have a much better chance of attaining success by taking action than by not.

In preschool, I recall marching to the front of the class for show-and-tell. I pulled my pants down to show-and-tell my new underwear, only to endure the laughter and ridicule of my little classmates. I surely was not expecting such a reaction. My new direction and goal? No more showing off underpants in class and be very cautious about what to show-and-tell in the future.

Fast forward to a few years ago when my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and was told she would be lucky to survive six more months. Talk about changing gameplans! We sold her house, secured her divorce, moved her to another state, and otherwise turned her world upside down in order to follow our new direction. Six months after that initial diagnosis, we had to change game plans once again because her cancer had miraculously gone into remission. A week ago, we faced yet another change when she moved back to her home state and took my brother with her.

Where to go from here? Well, back to where we were headed before the cancer hooplah began, I suppose. I don't think I remember what that gameplan was--I suppose we will have to come up with a new one. And I know at this point that this plan will only last until the next curveball comes our way.

Reflecting on my life as a suburban housewife who dreams of one day owning a mini-van, I guess I've put my plans of becoming a supermodel, actress, and rock star behind me. But then again, when I'm driving at night and the kids are asleep in the back seat, you may find me rocking out to U2 and Sarah McLachlan and imagining what might have been . . . .

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