Noriko Yamane Murphy: 1950-2010

Early yesterday morning, my mom's 5-year battle with cancer came to an end. Today, after one of the busiest days I have ever experienced, I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the things that have happened over the last couple of days.

Ironically, she did not die of cancer. She died of a heart attack. Even more irony:  about a month and a half ago, we found out that her cancer was growing at an alarmingly rapid rate and aggressive treatment would be necessary. She was receiving that treatment when all this happened.

When my mom went into the hospital Thursday, she just happened to have a very special houseguest--perhaps her very best friend. This friend, who my mom hadn't seen in a long time, along with my sister, were able to be with my mom in her very last moments. My sister had to make some incredibly difficult medical decisions for my mom that day, and it was an immense comfort to know that both of them weren't alone through all that.

As soon as we could, Jake and I packed up my brother and the kids and drove to Utah. While I have been incredibly busy with funeral and burial arrangements and legal matters, I have not had to fix a single meal. In fact, when we arrived at my mother's house, Yuko had prepared a delicious homemade meal for us. After she left, the doorbell rang, and another dear friend of my mom's handed me a box filled with fresh rolls, cheese, and sandwich meat, "in case we got hungry." And the meals keep on coming.

I had avoided telling Ellie about her grandma as long as possible, but by the time we drove into my mom's driveway, Ellie was really asking some questions I couldn't put off. So I told her that Grandma died. Before I could go into "do you remember what we learned at church about what happens when we die?" she started dancing around and pointing to the sky shouting, "Grandma is with Heavenly Father!" She said all this like it was the coolest thing that had ever happened. Maybe she's in denial. Maybe things will "hit" her later and we'll really have some emotions to deal with. Or maybe she gets things much better than her parents do. I don't know.

Some other dear friends of my mom's got together and purchased a wonderfully generous gift for my mom. I won't get into it what it was, but I will just say that I am still in awe of how much love they must have had for her.

In addition, numerous friends have offered help, support, and flowers, and I truly feel blessed to have so much at such a tumultuous time in my life. I believe that many of the more difficult burdens we've dealt with have become much lighter because of all the help we have received.

For those of you interested, her funeral will be on Wednesday morning in North Logan. If you would like more details, please contact me.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am headed off to bed. I am quite exhausted, and I believe I still have a lot more to do tomorrow. I will attempt a more coherent and interesting blog at a future date.

Spring!

Life has been busy. The kids have been busy. Here's a synopsis of our spring thus far:

Starting the garden. I read in the newspaper several weeks ago that it was time to get peas in the ground, so that's what we did last month. The kids helped.

Jake hates this picture, but I think it's so funny. Judd decided to wear his Chef Boyardee rather than eat it. It's quite rare for this kid to decide to not eat something.

I am staunchly anti-camping. I just don't see the point. Why sleep on the ground, outside, in the middle of nowhere, when there's a perfectly good hotel up the street? You outdoor enthusiasts out there, you are seriously not going to move me on this one. It's a conclusion I've drawn after many many years of mistakenly thinking that I actually like sleeping in nature. I became very much at peace with myself when I finally realized that I was experiencing something akin to cognitive dissonance where camping is concerned. I was delighted to find out that the love of my life is also not inclined to camp.

Consequently, we do not own any camping gear. Well, except for that random tent that Jake owns for whatever reason. But it was still in a sealed box until last year when I broke it out so the kids could play in it. This year I'm working on getting emergency supplies and storage and whatnot, and I decided that we probably ought to have a few outdoor things just in case. Hence the sleeping bag. This is the Ross family's first sleeping bag. Kind of pathetic that this is the first time my almost-4-year-old daughter has ever seen a sleeping bag. She was soooo excited. "Mommy what's this? Mommy what do you do with it? Mommy can I go inside it? I can sleep in it? Can I put my head in it?" Obviously, it was a big moment for her, so I had to get a shot.

At the aquarium. We got memberships again this year after foregoing last year. We've actually used them quite a bit so far, though.

Easter. Ellie had been excited about coloring eggs for weeks. She and my brother were the artists this year.

Egg hunting. We did it indoors because the Easter Bunny didn't want to hide eggs in the cold outdoors. Yeah, our Easter Bunny doesn't go camping, either.

Finally, the classic "Judd crying again" photo. Remember Christmas? You'd think he would be excited about finding eggs all over the house. But no. Here are the things you can always count on with this kid: (1) He will try to eat all the candy at once; (2) Jake will take the candy away in an effort to interest Judd in a different activity; (3) Judd will cry and cry until you give the candy back; (4) Jake will repeat this scene with Judd at every holiday that involves candy. Oh, and Judd will NEVER take an interest in the other activity.

Happy Spring everyone!