On Partridges and Pear Trees

In a previous posting, I think I mentioned being a bit irked at the crazy commercial-ness of Christmas in Japan. I tend to make a point of having our Christmas cards say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays." (I've told Jake on occasion that P.C. is for...uh...wimps.) I suppose that my point is that I don't know about everyone else, but I'm celebrating Christmas, which is to say, I am celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

To really get to the point, I'm trying to say that since my last million blogs have been the 12 blogs of Christmas, at least one of them ought to be about Jesus Christ, right? Well, here goes:

A couple of years ago, my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The news was a major shock to the whole family because less than a year previous, we had been assured that her cancer was in remission and that all her surgeries and subsequent treatments had been successful. I prayed and pleaded with God to make her well, to give us a miracle, or let this news be a mistake. With each test and doctor visit, however, the news became more and more grim. The average survival for what my mom had was only six months. If she underwent more chemotherapy, she might survive from six months to maybe two years.

Eventually, my pleading for a miracle to make my mom well turned into requests for help in setting her affairs in order. We had to sell her house, finalize her divorce, and finally, find adequate health insurance to cover her treatment in Colorado. All three were daunting tasks, and none of them was smooth sailing. The house sale hit every snag imaginable, her divorce turned ugly, and it seemed that no matter where I turned, I couldn't find the information I needed for the health insurance. Sometime during this tumultuous period, Jake and I were asked to give talks in sacrament meeting. The topic: The Power of Patience. Oh, the irony. I don't know if Cliff Eley knew what was going on with us when he assigned the topic, but the timing couldn't have been better.

About seven months later, within about a week's time, the house sale closed, the judge signed the divorce decree, and my mom's new insurance card arrived in the mail. I took a breath of relief and immediately turned my thoughts toward figuring out funeral costs, cemetery plots, and hospice care. It was at that time that my sister came for a visit and I had her take our mom to her chemotherapy. I just needed a break. When they returned, my sister explained to me that the doctor had reviewed all of Mom's latest lab work, x-rays, and such and found that he could find no trace of her cancer. Mom was quickly planning how she was going to get off all of her medications and return to a normal life. I think that at the time, I congratulated her and didn't say or think much else.

As I was returning from dropping my sister off at the airport, it struck me that my mom had survived. It took another month or so to realize also that I had gotten everything for which I had asked. I had received the miracle for which I had pleaded several months before, not to mention all the help along the way to accomplish my list of 3.

Maybe this story doesn't convince you, the reader, of the existence of God or Jesus Christ, but for me, it was an affirmation that Heavenly Father not only exists, but listens and loves us. He sent his Son to ensure that we would have a way to return to Him. Jesus Christ came to Earth as an infant, grew up just like you and me, and then paved the way for us to return home someday. This is why I'm celebrating Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

2

I took Ellie to The Nutcracker today. I blogged about her first ballet experience a couple of months ago. Today was not unlike that experience. Here are the highlights:

1. Matinee performance starts at 1:00 pm, the same time as her nap.

2. Ellie had already filled up on candy by the time the performance began. Two words: behavioral problems

3. The Colorado Ballet's performance was excellent.

4. Ellie decided that all the little girls in the first act were princesses and let everyone know that's what they were. ("Mommy, anothew pwintheth!")

5. Ellie disapproved of the mice and didn't conceal that disapproval.

6. Ellie liked the Chinese dragon. "It's a dwagon, Mommy! It's the Shwek dwagon!"

7. When the performance was just not doing it for her, Ellie pretended to eat candy, offering pretend candy to her Aunt Hannah and me.

8. Spending time with my baby girl and showing her something she's never seen before.

9. Starting a new tradition. (Well, maybe not so new. I dragged Jake to see The Nutcracker in previous years. I just changed dates, I guess. Jake confided, though, that he was disappointed to miss this year's performance. For real.)

3

There is nothing so romantic as purchasing a nice, non-cheap item that you need, like a pair of boots, and your husband saying something like, "Um, can this be your Christmas present?" When asked that particular question, the answer is always NO. I have a new strategy--purchasing what I need to purchase, and then stating firmly, "This is my Christmas gift."

So far this year, I haven't made the purchase. I made a certain purchase at a certain Coach store for my birthday ("This is my birthday present.") and I'm actually thinking that might be good enough. But you never know...

This morning as I was preparing breakfast for Ellie and me, I realized, to my horror, that the dishwasher had stopped working. Honestly, it was more like the @#$%&* dishwasher flat out @#$%&* busted. I even kicked it to make sure it was dead. Dead dead dead.

I guess we're getting a dishwasher for Christmas.

NO, this can't be my Christmas present.

4

Santa Claus: Ellie Part II, Judd Part I

"Santa, I want a candy cane."

"Santa, I will take your beard."

I think this was the real Santa because he was so nice.

5

"Honey, I....uh...we just bought a house and I need you to sign the closing documents. I just sent you the PDF..."

"Uh...what?"

"Uh...Merry Christmas?"

You might be wondering how Jake managed to purchase a house without my input or participation. We were living in different states at the time--I was still at BYU and Jake had a job in Albuquerque. I finished my exams, flew back to Albuquerque, and saw our first house for the very first time after Jake bought it. I believe we moved into the house a few days thereafter.

My first impression of the house was: "We paid how much for this house?" Actually, it was more like, "This is the house we bought?" The house was over fifty years old and definitely a fixer-upper. I was adamant that Jake had agreed to pay too much for it. He kept assuring me we were paying for the neighborhood--that the value of these particular houses was rising at an amazing rate. I was not convinced . . . that is, until we sold it. HUGE return. We didn't even have to put the house on the market. It kind of sold itself.

Jake has proved that he can make real estate decisions for our family, thus he is allowed to. (As opposed to, say, decisions regarding lawnmowers and other machinery--but this is a blog for another date.)



Merry Christmas!

6

White, fluffy clouds of sugar and meringue. It's an old school candy and you rarely see it these days. I think you have to be over 60 years old to even know what divinity is.

My Grandma Murphy passed away in June of 2002. She lived in my parents' home for the nine or so months before her death, and so did I. I was incredibly fortunate to have spent that last Christmas with her for many reasons, but the one thing for which I will be eternally grateful is that she taught me her fine art of divinity-making.

Grandma Murphy's divinity was famous. There is actually a Judd family secret recipe. (Judd was Grandma Murphy's maiden name.) Great Grandma Judd passed it on to Grandma Murphy, and then she taught me how to make it. Unfortunately for you, the reader, I am not yet ready to give up the secret.

Another thing for which Grandma Murphy was known was her sense of humor. That Christmas in 2001, we scorched the first batch of divinity. Well, scorched divinity doesn't necessarily look burned. It looked beautiful, but tasted like rubber. While we were mulling over what we had done wrong with that batch, Grandpa Murphy walked into the kitchen. Grandma and I looked at each other and Grandma offered Grandpa one of the fluffy white candies. Grandpa's eyes lit up, and I had to turn away to keep from laughing out loud. One bite of the candy, and Grandpa let out a fine stream of old-fashioned cursing as he frantically spit it out into the garbage can. Grandma and I were both laughing hysterically, but Grandma paused long enough to say, "Murphy! Watch your language!" with a straight face.


Grandma didn't leave much behind when she died, and anything she may have left was certainly not left to me. I don't think any of the other grandkids (or maybe even her own kids) got the benefit of a divinity-making lesson, though, and I believe I received a priceless gift that year. Now Jake and I make it each year for Christmas and I remember my Grandma Murphy each time.

Thank you Grandma! Merry Christmas!

We Interrupt Our Scheduled Programming to Bring You...

For some of us, the sound of silence is the sure sign that something unholy is going on with our children. At my house, it's Ellie's "look what I did, Mommy!"

When I finally paid attention to what Ellie was screaming, I had to see what she had done. "Mommy! Judd's a witch! A witch!" Judd didn't seem to mind being a witch.




Later, I just happened to stumble upon this.

Other things I have encountered lately: Ellie rolling Judd around on the floor, Ellie putting stuff in Judd's mouth, Ellie dragging Judd across the floor, and Ellie pretending to be Superman flying through the air while balanced on Judd's tummy. Judd doesn't seem to mind.

7

This is how Jake gets his Christmas on.

8

I'm not certain, but I think Santa said "No."

9

Before Jake and I were engaged, we went on a date that included seeing the Christmas lights at Temple Square. We had dinner at a great Thai place in Salt Lake City (Monsoon) and then headed downtown to walk around. It was a very romantic evening and we just talked and enjoyed each other's company.

At one point, we crossed a little bridge and stopped midway. I was taking in the scenery and I noticed that Jake was not looking at the sights, but at me. When I turned to look at him, this is what he said:

"You're a lot more attractive than I initially thought you were."

"You didn't find me attractive before?"

"No, not really."


If you are thinking, "what the...?" well, so did I.

Merry Christmas!

10

Eight years ago, I was living and working in Japan. I decided to save money and not travel during the holidays. My Japanese Christmas was an interesting experience.





Since Japan is not a Christian-based country, Christmas is not an official holiday. I worked a full day on the 24th and then had Christmas Day off only because it fell on a Saturday. Many businesses had Christmas trees and lights set up, and many also were selling Christmas merchandise, but the approach was distinctly different from my experience here in the U.S. (If you think Christmas is a totally commercial affair here, you really should see what it is in Japan. It will probably make you sick.) Just like here, there were many Christmas specials on TV, but again, with a distinctive twist...no, let's call it an outright WARP on what I consider to be the original in this country. This is what I wish to tell you about today.







Spending Christmas Eve and Day alone, I had decided to treat myself and had a decadent dinner of seafood and other luxuries at home, in front of my TV. I cranked the little heater to blast as high as it could, covered my legs in blankets, and turned on another space heater. My apartment in Gifu was built right after the war (that's my estimate, anyway), was not insulated, had no central heating system, and the wind would blow through the apartment because the windows weren't really sealed. Since I was splurging, I took all measured to get comfy.







Then I turned on the TV. I'm sure that I had rented a stack of videos (past seasons of X-files and Ally McBeal), but I am a huge fan of Japanese TV. Entertainment to the utmost level, y'all. I settled on a Christmas special featuring the biggest pop stars in the country singing Christmas carols. My two favorite were:





1. An oversized girl group called "Morning Musume" singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" in English. For you non-Japanese speakers out there, the hard "y" sound us a bit tricky for the native Japanese speaker. Here's how the song went: "We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Ear! And a Happy New Ear! New Ear!" They kept singing "New Ear" over and over again. My ears were overjoyed with the unintended comedy. Thank you Morning Musume.








2. A very popular pop singer, singing in what appeared to be a chapel with a gospel choir as back-up. And not just any old gospel choir, a very distinctly Southern Baptist-looking choir. The music started, slowly--organ music. Very fitting for the scene and I was pleasantly surprised to see a religious take on this program. Then the pop singer started in--a lively rendition, in English, of "Jingle Bell Rock." I'm sure my neighbors thought the American in A405 had gone nuts. I was laughing uncontrollably.





Even though I was on my own that year, it remains one of my favorite Christmases. It was most certainly a different take on the holiday. Merry Christmas and Happy New Ear!

11

What is the appropriate response to a gift you instantly dislike? If you are like my mom, no matter how thoughtful or expensive, you will act graciously after opening the present and immediately return or exchange said gift the next day. What were we thinking buying that Donna Karan suit for her, when we knew she would just take it back to Nordstrom's and exchange it for sheets and Christmas ornaments that were on clearance?

I guess my mom rubbed off on me a little bit.

Speaking from experience, no matter how ugly or impractical the gift is, you should never tell your fiance after opening the present, "I'm sorry, but I can't wear it." Such was my mistake while spending Christmas in London with my former fiance.

I remember that she was excited all week and kept making phone calls to see if it was ready. I had an inkling of what she bought me, and I was hoping that I was wrong. . . I wasn't.

I'm lousy at hiding my emotions, and unfortunately for me I was staying with her family, so there was no escape. I remember her sisters crowding around me to take a closer look as I opened the present. I must have had the look of someone who had just received a turd sandwich instead of a gift from a loved one because everyone sat in stunned silence as they watched me open and try on the gift.

In my defense, other than in high school when I wore an earring (gold hoop like many of the other soccer players), I don't do man jewelry. So, the loose fitting silver bracelet engraved with a special message to me was wrong in so many ways. I tried it on, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to lie to her and tell her that I'd wear it everyday while I was in Utah and she was back in London. I told her that I would proudly display it at my desk, but under no circumstances could I wear it. Needless to say, it was not the reaction she was hoping for. Unfortunately, there is no way to exchange a personalized engraved bracelet. Merry Christmas!

12

Three years ago, Jake and I lived in Albuquerque and I was pregnant with Ellie. Jake was a counselor in the Branch Presidency of the Albuquerque University Singles Branch. It was a tiny branch, so Branch activities tended to be major affairs--for example, full dinners at many holidays and fast Sundays. For Christmas, each member of the branch presidency was supposed to put on a musical number for the special Christmas sacrament meeting program.

This arrangement was fine for the Branch President, whose family is very musically inclined and all are singers. No problem for the other counselor, either, who had children in the Branch and who were also singers. They just had their kids sing. Not so easy for Jake and me. I play the piano, but as I recall, we had been specifically requested to SING. Jake loves to sing, and he sings to our kids all the time. But he is not a "singer." OK, let's be honest, there is no tune carrying going on with my awesomely capable and perfect husband. I can carry a tune and read music, but that is as far as I go. Jake informed me that Prez Jimenez (or PJ, as we liked to call him) was not going to budge on this one. As Christmas got closer and closer, we were still at a loss.

Finally, the day before the program, I decided to take one for the team. I went to Deseret Book and found a children's Nativity book with big Nativity scenes and stick-on characters. Then I showed Jake how it worked. I had Jake call Sister PJ and ask her to play the piano for us.

This is how it went down. I sang the song "The Nativity" from the Children's Songbook. (That's the song that starts "This is the season beloved of the year, Sing a rhyme Christmas time soon will be here..." and goes through all the scenes of the Nativity.) Sister PJ accompanied me. Jake had the Nativity book on a big easel and went through each scene that I sang and added characters to the scenes.

So, I know this sounds kind of dumb, but still understandable considering the circumstances, right? Well this is how you should picture it. I was very pregnant (see photo below). I am not a singer and my voice doesn't carry. And the best part was Jake, who was (1) unfamiliar with the song and (2) unfamiliar with children's books with stick-on characters, was frantically turning pages, finding the right scene, and then finding the right stick-on to go with the scene. I saw him breathe a huge sigh of relief at the end.

Our part of the production ended, and I saw more than one raised eyebrow, including someone from Stake leadership. I remember Jake was slightly concerned about that particular raised eyebrow.

Aah...the good old days of Albuquerque, where we always had to do things a little bit differently! Merry Christmas!

Teriyaki Busters

Last year, Jake and I tried out a new Japanese restaurant. The Japanese restaurant search is quite important in our family. Surprisingly, we have not found very many Japanese joints in the Denver area that we would recommend. I don't remember the name of this place, but it was in Parker and it was not a close drive. The one thing I remember about this place was that we ordered the gyoza (or potstickers). I remember telling Jake, "they should really stop serving these here."

For my birthday today, Jake surprised me. This is a shocker because Jake can't keep a secret. He tells me everything. The last time he surprised me was when he proposed to me--that was a real shocker because I really didn't see it coming. (But that's another story for another blog...) He told me he was going to surprise me with our honeymoon, but he told me where we were going as soon as he had the tickets purchased. Each birthday since we've been married, I believe, has been an intended surprise, but he has told me as soon as the reservations were made each time.

This time, no spilled beans. This never happens. If you look to the right of this posting, you will see a new addition to my favorite restaurants list. Sushi Sasa. (Just so you know, when it comes to Japanese cuisine, if it isn't on my list, you really shouldn't go there. Trust me on this one.) My pet peeve with many East Asian style restaurants is the amount of sugar in everything. All the sauces are teriyaki, the sushi rice could double for a Quaker caramel rice cake, and the salad dressing is really sesame flavored syrup. Also, stay away from any place that claims to be an "Asian" restaurant. Do you know how big Asia is? Pakistan is Asia. India is Asia. The Philippines is Asia. Parts of Russia are considered Asia. Then there's your run-of-the-mill Asia of China, Japan, Korea, and etc. Or here's the real kicker: a Chinese buffet and sushi bar. And it's probably called something like "East Sea Asian Bistro." You should never eat at a place like this. Or, at least, if you do, don't tell me you ate there. Actually, don't tell me you ate there and liked it. I'm tearing my hair out just thinking about it!

I am always pleased to see an absence of the word "teriyaki" on a Japanese menu. Such was the case at Sushi Sasa. I can also report with elation that there was no sugar in the sauces in any of the dishes we ordered. The sushi rice, in Jake's words, "tasted clean." It was wonderful. Here's the rundown of our dinner:

Beef Tataki (rare seared beef): absolutely delicious

Chicken Skewers: ok, I wouldn't order it again, but great for a "beginner"

Monkfish Liver, a.k.a. foi gras of the sea: heavenly--silky, smooth, like butta. We ended up ordering a second serving of this...

"Gourmet" Sushi Plate (variety of sushi): rice flavored just right and fresh wasabi. There was no skimping on quality or quantity here. (also very reasonably priced)

Dessert: even the dessert was remarkable. Beautifully presented and certainly delicious. We had the Chocolate Mousse Cake and the Lemon Cheesecake Mousse.

I highly recommend Sushi Sasa. It's definitely up there with Sushi Den. (Izakaya Den would be up there, too, but the waiter there didn't know what he was talking about (fyi, Tamari is soy sauce), so that place gets lower marks.)

Digging in the Snow

We woke up to this treat this morning. Lots of snow! Snow is still a novelty to Ellie. I don't think she knows what to do with it, but she knows that she definitely wants to be in it. Here she is trying to figure out how to play with the snow.

Two Fours

Disclaimer: a week ago, I had minor hand surgery which has been a total thorn in the side of my life in general. I have stitches in my palm which hurt and the anesthetic appears to have NOT worn off. I have a numb middle finger. (You may laugh now if you like. I would if it wasn't me.) Typing is quite difficult when you have a a tender palm and a numb finger. Any typos may be attributed to the finger issue.

Here is the fourth photo from my fourth folder.
Logan Canyon, my mom, and my niece, Erika. I believe this was taken in 2006 shortly after my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, metasticized to her liver, 6 months to live. (In case you are new to my blog, my mom has survived nearly 2 1/2 years and is in terrific health today.) See the hat she's wearing? There's no hair under it. She was very sick then. No one knows how she got so healthy. Here's my hypothesis:

1. Lots of prayer, fasting, blessings, temple attendance
2. Reduction of big, out of control stresses
3. Changing to an intensely healthy diet (all vegetables, yo!) and adding exercise
4. Maybe the green stuff helped? (Fletchers, if you're reading this, you know what I'm talkin' about)
5. Competent medical care

Here's the bottom line: maybe you can't control all your health issues. None of us knows when our time will come. But, you know, if my mom can get to the brink of death and then come...no, bounce back, I think that we're at least partially in control of our health and possibly our mortality. SO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODIES!

Husband Tag Revisited

Since the blog was always meant to be a collaborative effort, I think Katie felt compelled to spread some half-truths about me with the intent of provoking a response. Truthfully, I haven't been a faithful contributor to our blog other than giving Katie the ideas for all of her best posts. Since my wife claims my best quality is that I'm honest (I always thought it was my humility), allow me to set the record straight.
Husband Tag
1. Where did you meet your husband? At my apartment at BYU. He was friends with my roommate and had just broken off an engagement. Imagine how pleasant he was on that day... Despite her insinuations, I distinctly recall it being a joyful occasion all around. Good times, really! Whoever said that debating constitutional law while enjoying gluten-free snacks wasn't the perfect tonic for a broken-heart doesn't know what they are missing.
2. How long did you date before you were married? 7 months, on and off. First three months mostly off, last 3 months, engaged. I still can't believe we got married. Don't let her fool you, Katie was basically begging me to marry her after our epic first date with the Greens and the Clawsons at Mimi's Cafe, followed by a game of Wise or Otherwise at the Greens (memorable only for Drew's attempts to include phallic references in all of his answers).
3. How long have you been married? 4 1/2 years Has it really been that long?
4. What does he do that surprises you? I am utterly amazed that Jake will wake up in the middle of the night to clean up Ellie's barf with me. He also holds her hair out of her face as she's throwing up. I'm surprised she didn't mention spontaneous foot rubs and long romantic trips to Costco, not to mention multiple early morning jaunts to Joanne's after-Thanksgiving day sale.
5. What is his best feature? His butt. Not saying he doesn't have a face that's really fun to look at, but his butt sure is nice... Also, he smells nice. Does anyone else find it ironic that she mentions my butt and that I smell nice in the same sentence?
6. What is his best quality? He's honest. Again, I always thought that it was my humility.
7. Does he have a nickname for you? Yes. A few. I will not repeat them here. Best keep them to myself before I really get in trouble with Tiger Stripes.
8. What is his favorite food? Burgers? Sushi? Green chile? Foie gras? He eats it all! Anything Katie cooks. She is an awesome cook, which explains the extra 20 lbs I'm carrying around.
9. What is his favorite sport? SOCCER Particularly English Premier League soccer.
10. When and where was your first kiss? Our second date. Harryo's in Park City, October 2003. Yes, kids, we had our first kiss in a dark corner of a bar in Utah. Jake had "broken up" with me for the first time about a week previous. (There were many break-ups.) Then he changed his mind and we went to see Galactic at Harryo's. He was really antsy on that date. When I asked, "dude, what's your deal?" he told me he wanted to kiss me. <--honesty Romance is his middle name. The female perspective on things really is astounding to me.
11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Uh, Jake and I have very little in common. I can think of only two interests we share: food and travel. We've combined the two in this photo: delicious pork dinner in Tokyo. Little did I know when she would watch Avalanche games with me before we got married, she was only feigning interest. Now, I'm lucky to catch the last five minutes of a Broncos game. Good thing Judd has already demonstrated a love for watching football and soccer with his dad.
12. Do you have any children? 2 beautiful babies. Ellie, 2 1/2 and Judd, 5 months We couldn't have asked for two better kids. They're hysterical and keep us on our toes.
13. Does he have any hidden talents? Two words: karaoke Freestyle dance and the occasional dance-off.
14. How old is he? 32 and older than I. I love how Katie continues to try and pass herself off as being 28 when she's actually 34.
15. Who said I love you first? HE DID. In his parents' basement, New Year's Eve 2003. We went to see Big Head Todd that night. Actually, it was New Year's Day by that time. Again, soooo romantic. The concert was awesome, and to be fair she had been saying she loved me with her eyes ever since our first date.
16. What is his favorite music? Anything his dad likes. Jake idolizes his dad. J.J. Cale, Taj Mahal, Widespread Panic, the Grateful Dead, Paul Simon, Eric Clapton and Big Head Todd and the Monsters are just a few of my favorites. I have seen them all live except for J.J. Cale.
17. What do you admire most about him? His ability to be honest and do the right thing. No comment.
18. What is his favorite color? green Forest Green
19. Will he read this? yes. I love you Jake! Love you to!
20. Who do you tag? Heather and Wendy!

Tagged

Husband Tag

1. Where did you meet your husband? At my apartment at BYU. He was friends with my roommate and had just broken off an engagement. Imagine how pleasant he was on that day...

2. How long did you date before you were married? 7 months, on and off. First three months mostly off, last 3 months, engaged. I still can't believe we got married.

3. How long have you been married? 4 1/2 years

4. What does he do that surprises you? I am utterly amazed that Jake will wake up in the middle of the night to clean up Ellie's barf with me. He also holds her hair out of her face as she's throwing up.

5. What is his best feature? His butt. Not saying he doesn't have a face that's really fun to look at, but his butt sure is nice... Also, he smells nice.

6. What is his best quality? He's honest.

7. Does he have a nickname for you? Yes. A few. I will not repeat them here.

8. What is his favorite food? Burgers? Sushi? Green chile? Foie gras? He eats it all!

9. What is his favorite sport? SOCCER

10. When and where was your first kiss? Our second date. Harryo's in Park City, October 2003. Yes, kids, we had our first kiss in a dark corner of a bar in Utah. Jake had "broken up" with me for the first time about a week previous. (There were many break-ups.) Then he changed his mind and we went to see Galactic at Harryo's. He was really antsy on that date. When I asked, "dude, what's your deal?" he told me he wanted to kiss me. <--honesty Romance is his middle name.

11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Uh, Jake and I have very little in common. I can think of only two interests we share: food and travel. We've combined the two in this photo: delicious pork dinner in Tokyo.

12. Do you have any children? 2 beautiful babies. Ellie, 2 1/2 and Judd, 5 months

13. Does he have any hidden talents? Two words: karaoke

14. How old is he? 32 and older than I.

15. Who said I love you first? HE DID. In his parents' basement, New Year's Eve 2003. We went to see Big Head Todd that night. Actually, it was New Year's Day by that time. Again, soooo romantic.

16. What is his favorite music? Anything his dad likes. Jake idolizes his dad.

17. What do you admire most about him? His ability to be honest and do the right thing.

18. What is his favorite color? green

19. Will he read this? yes. I love you Jake!

20. Who do you tag? Heather and Wendy!

Restaurant Review: Jade Garden

Jake and I are food snobs. I hate to admit it, and we try not to be obnoxious about it, but we are. We like to try new restaurants and we can definitely tell you which restaurants to go to for, say, a delicious taco or which restaurants to avoid if you want a decent Japanese meal.

Every once in a while, we run into an eatery that I just can't shut up about--a place that I just can't allow to slip by unnoticed. Tonight's Chinese was just such a meal. Dinner from Jade Garden this evening can be summed up in this sentence:

IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR YOUR TASTE BUDS DON'T EAT HERE

We had a long day of errand-running today and I didn't want to bother with making dinner. I was totally pooped. Jake remembered that Jade Garden, in his youth, had been a pretty darn good joint. We decided to order take out. Here is a rundown of our dinner:



Dinner combination for 2

Pu-pu platter. Egg rolls were large and soggy. "Drumstics" were not seasoned at all. Spare ribs were dry, sugary, and smelled suspicious. Beef skewer was dry. Wonton was almost empty. The least offensive item here were the fried shrimp, because they failed to leave any kind of impression.

Hot and sour soup. This item also failed to leave any impression, other than SOMEONE PUT MUSHROOMS IN MY SOUP! (If you know me, you know what I'm talkin' about.)

Fried rice. What fried rice? I know I paid for fried rice. Where is my fried rice? I'm still looking for the fried rice. Oh, this container with the off-colored ricey stuff? Is this my fried rice?

Velvet Seafood Something Something Dish. I don't care what they call it. I call it a risk. It smelled odd. Also, SOMEBODY PUT MUSHROOMS IN IT.

Sesame Chicken. I wonder if they just order it from Panda Express...?

Jake's comment after we threw away almost everything was, "Even the fortune cookies were bad." We all know the Jake is a hypochondriac. So you can imagine what's going on at my house right now. "Do you think this is going to make me sick?...I think I'm starting to feel sick...Do you think I'm sick?" Me: "You're not sick." Jake: "I think I'm getting sick...Do I feel warm?"

This has nothing to do with the subject of this posting, but just to illustrate my hypochondriac husband, Jake also gets sick when I have morning sickness and he also "got sick and almost passed out" at the births of both of our children. Something about the stress of the situation, or something. Forgive me if I express no sympathy.

Anyway, back to Jade Garden. I have no doubt that back in the day this was a decent Chinese eatery. Today, I would have to tell you to show your body some respect and stay away.

On a positive note, if you're looking for decent, no-frills Chinese, I recommend Jasmine in Lone Tree, off of Lincoln. They are inexpensive and their ingredients are fresh. I also highly recommend Chopsticks on Federal Avenue. I have rigid restaurant-choosing rules, including never eat at a Japanese place with the word "bowl" in the name and also never eat at any kind of Asian restaurant called Chopsticks. This place totally breaks my rules, but it is the best Chinese I've eaten in this country. This is a place where you will find things like jellyfish on the menu--yum!

Open Call for Captions OR Tribute to American Democracy

This is an invitation for a title for this here FINE piece of American portraiture. Personally, I like "Saddam With Baby." Note the irony of the George W. Bush T-shirt.

Yes, the shirt says "three peat" on it underneath George. The best part is on the back: an American flag with the words "George Bush for America." For all you left and right wingnuts out there.

Just so you know, this brilliant T-shirt was the brainchild of a local high school student.

The Real Thing

Halloween, finally, and this is the scene:

My daughter can cry. This right here is about 8 out of 10. See the wide open mouth, real tears smeared around the eyes and cheeks, and you can't hear it, but there was some real sobbing. Quite loud and obnoxious, but still not at maximum volume or intensity. I wasn't present for this melt down, but I'm sure the sobbing sounded something like this: "Aaaaaa! Boppa don't touch my candy! Don't TOUCH MY CAAANDY! Aaaaaaa!!!!"

Soon thereafter, appeased...

Dad and the kids get their Halloween groove on. I need to watch Nacho Libre again--that was a dang good movie. It would probably be even better with a turtle and a mini-doc.

Speaking of my hot wrestling husband, when you ask him to strike a pose, he strikes a pose and he'll do it wherever it works. In this case, just after buckling the kids into the car...

This one is for Jake. He can't have his pic posted without his kids with him, so here's Bob Ross with a monkey.

Three More Days to Go

This morning I was cuddling with my cute hubby and thinking how cute he is. Of course, I was mostly asleep and I never really woke up before he left for work. (OK, so I'm not the kind of wife who gets up early to make breakfast before Jake leaves in the morning...) Being mostly asleep, I also wasn't thinking of the mustache he's been sporting for four days now. If I had, I definitely would not have been thinking such sweet thoughts, let alone cuddling!

Can you tell? Facial hair = Katie repellant.

Here's last year's atrocity: Bob Ross (you know, the painter on PBS?)


And the year before: Richard Simmons (with a baby bumblebee)


No facial hair in this one, but this is what he looked like the night before:

Feel my pain!

True Love

In marriage, we all have to make sacrifices in order to succeed. We might sacrifice material items, careers, or social events for the good of the marriage.

Every October, I make a sacrifice for the good of my marriage. This is the time of year my husband grows facial hair and I don't interject my own personal preference. So sacrifice #1 is I put up with nasty full beard. A couple of years ago, I approved the purchase of a high quality curly brown wig. This was actually a mutual promise: purchase is allowed if we get our money's worth out of it. Finally, when it all comes down to it, I allow my husband to be seen in public places with the horrible, horrible combination--facial hair and wig. So sacrifice #2 is personal dignity.

This year's combination: NACHO LIBRE

Doctor Doctor

Ellie loves princesses, real and imaginary animals, and all things Disney. When I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween, though, she surprised us. She said, "a doctor." After Jake called every member of his immediate family to find out who put her up to such a lame Halloween costume, we realized that this was, indeed, Ellie's own idea. I thought she would change her mind, though.

She never did. So, Ellie is a doctor for Halloween. Ellie's Aunt Paden, who is a real life doctor, and her uncle Michael Angelo (that's his real name, I promise) who is almost a doctor doctor (MD, Ph.D.) were in town last week, so we got pics of all the docs together.

Now, I have to interject something here. Technically, Jake, Jake's dad, Jake's aunt Lorraine, and I are doctors, also--doctors of law. But for some reason, lawyers don't get to wear that title. Now why is that? Is there any other kind of doctor that doesn't get to be called Doctor such-and-such? And why does our daughter want to be a doctor-not-a-lawyer for Halloween?

Judd is a turtle.

We weren't just playing in the Halloween costumes. We got the kids all dressed up for our ward's Trunk-or-Treat party. Tons of fun.

A Night at the Ballet

My sister and her two children flew into town a week ago and my house wasn't completely guest-ready. I had them stay in our newly finished basement, which is the nicest part of our home at this point, but there was one problem--the toilet was disconnected.

Why is the toilet in the best part of our home disconnected? It's a long story I won't get into, but it involves a Washlet (computerized toilet) and my mom.

After Jessica arrived, I removed the Washlet and reconnected the toilet. My sister watched as my husband attended to some other domestic chore. Jessica's comment: "It's weird watching you fix the plumbing while Jake is doing...well...whatever he's doing."

What an insightful commentary on our marriage.

Jessica was only here for two and a half days, which was way too short, but we managed to cram in a few things. I forgot to take my camera to the zoo, so there are no cute zoo pics. Somehow I managed to remember to snap a shot of the kids' handiwork, because this is a scene I want to preserve for posterity. (<--that was sarcasm)

This is one of those "find the hidden object" pictures. Can you find the children in this mess? There are two of them...

I call this one "Fish Head."

Judd with his Aunt Jessica who looks, literally, half her age.

Ellie spent the entire weekend following her cousin Erika around and doing everything she did.

Jake scored some awesome tickets to Swan Lake (performed by the Colorado Ballet), so we had a girls' night out. We took the light rail downtown, which I think was fun for the little girls.

The ballet was beautiful. We left after the first act, though, because: (1) it was well past Ellie's bedtime; (2) one act seemed to be more than Ellie could take of staying in one spot; and (3) because of (1) and (2), Ellie was misbehaving quite noticeably. When the lights came back on, Ellie said quite loudly, "I don't like it Mommy! I don't like it!" She was actually referring to the villain in the ballet, but I don't think that came through when she said it.

On the way home, Jessica commented, "That makes me want to do ballet again..." Jessica and I had been pretty committed dancers when we were much younger--we even danced in a local ballet company. My comment back to Jessica was, "You're nuts. I am glad to never ever ever put another pair of pointe shoes on my feet again."

Jessica and her kids had to leave the next morning. I took Ellie with us to the airport. She was not happy about her cousins leaving. In fact, she refused to say goodbye.

None of the kids cracked a smile the entire time I was at the airport. Ellie cried as I took her out to the car. It had been nearly a year since I last saw my little sister and her beautiful kids. Ellie wasn't the only one bummed to see them go.

Today, finally, Jake and I ventured to clean up. I'm not such a diligent or gifted housekeeper--I'm well aware that cleaning up a mess a week after it has happened is not good housekeeping. As I turned on the vacuum cleaner, Ellie came running out of the woodwork, grabbed her kid-sized broom, and attacked the vacuum cleaner. I had never seen her do this before and I was quite surprised. When she did the same thing to my Bissellator (that's my pet name for my carpet shampooer machine thingy), I yelled at Jake to grab the camera. Check it out.

Come visit again soon, Jessica, Erika, and Kalvin!

Jake Wants the World to Know

Speaking of the child who won't use the potty...

Yesterday, as Jake was emptying a dirty diaper into the toilet, Ellie peered at her handiwork and told her Dad, "That's a turd, Daddy...A big one."

Just thought you should know.

A Few of My Favorite Things

My sweet little family. This is the crew on Saturday morning watching General Conference. But...

When you take in the entire picture, you see who dominates my, (mind you, it is MY) home. A 2-year-old. Would you believe that she was able to do this in about an hour's time? When the house gets like this, I can't hang out, but Dad sure doesn't seem to mind...

I love when my kids want to cuddle with Mommy. This scene happens at least once a day. I'll be rocking Judd in the La-Z-Boy (best investment ever, BTW) and Ellie will climb on and wedge herself in the nonexistent space betweem the armrest and me. But do you see what's wrong with this picture?

Yes, the 2-year-old with the pacifier. This is one of our best kept secrets. Ellie is a very bright girl. She articulates incredible complete sentences. She knows the alphabet, can almost count to twenty, and will spend hours looking at books. But this child refuses to give up: (1) the pacifier; (2) the bottle (another closely held family secret); and (3) DIAPERS!!


Here's part 2 of the potty training saga. Ellie refuses to use the potty altogether. She absolutely will not use the potty. Except for this one time a couple of weeks ago when she took the initiative and went all by herself. The potty training book mentioned in a previous entry instructs parents to also teach the child to dump the peepee from the child potty into the adult potty and then flush the toilet. I had really strong misgivings about this aspect, but I decided to approach this whole training thing the same way I approach a recipe I have never used--go strictly by the book. MY INSTINCTS WERE CORRECT. That one time Ellie used the potty? Well, you guessed it, she not only missed the big potty, the peepee also found its way, well, EVERYWHERE.

Another reason why that book sucks.


Enough griping. Just when I think I'm at the end of my rope, holding the last straw, or teetering at the edge of the cliff, I see something like this.
My kids, cute as can be, doing something strange, but doing it together.

The rope grows another foot, I get five more straws, and the cliff is once again a safe distance away. Such is motherhood.