Ross, Ross, Ross, Ross & Ross

Pay It Forward

2011-11-22T20:51:00.000-08:00

I spent a much-needed weekend away from home this past weekend. I will go ahead and say it: it was an awesome time. It was the first time I've ever been away from all three of my kids and my husband at the same time. On top of that, I spent the weekend in one of my favorite places--Seattle. What made this weekend particularly special, however, was the reason for which I made the trip.

A year and a half ago, my mother passed away suddenly. (Some of you know she was already dying of cancer, but her actual cause of death was congestive heart failure and a massive heart attack caused by the cancer drug Herceptin.) I say suddenly, but the final twenty or so hours of her life were particularly painful and difficult. Through it all, there was one person by her side, right up until she breathed her last breath. (My sister was also there for her last few hours.) This friend had driven from Seattle to Logan a few days previous for the sole purpose of caring for her during that round of chemotherapy. She was the one who broke the news to me of my mom's dire situation. She didn't leave town until after the funeral, at which she gave the most beautiful memorial to my mom.

Her name was Yuko Johnson, and she passed away last week after her own years-long battle with cancer. She was one of the most impressive people I have ever known. She is the reason I went to Seattle this weekend. I said this past weekend was awesome. It may be strange to say that of a funeral weekend, but it just was.

When I arrived in Seattle, Yuko's husband and daughter welcomed me into their home and we had a very nice and heartfelt visit. Chris's family, of course, was there, and Yuko's friends came and went as the day wore on. I have known Yuko for twenty or so years, and it was absolutely lovely to learn about Yuko from people who knew her even longer and from other times and places of her life. I enjoyed visiting with Tia, her daughter, and being able to recognize the many things she must have picked up from her mother. The one thing that impressed me the most was that there were so many people in the world who absolutely loved this woman. She was a true friend to all these people. I won't go into a lot of detail about Yuko's life, but I can attest that it was a particularly full and dynamic one.

I wish I could have given her a big hug before she left. I suppose that I will get my chance someday.

By the time it was time for me to return home, I was refreshed and ready to face my crazy life again. I also had a heart full of gratitude--that I had Yuko for a friend, that I was able to meet and make friends with so many of her friends, and that I have her as a teacher and example. Heck, I was grateful for being able to travel so far away, even if it meant having to submit to a full body search at airport security because I absolutely refuse to go through the full-body scanner.

Here are some photos from the weekend. I searched all my digital photos for anything with Yuko in it, but I had nothing, unfortunately. This is Yuko's sweet mother-in-law and some of her friends. One traveled all the way from Germany. The tall girl in the middle is Yuko's daughter who just returned from and LDS mission. (She also has a son who is currently serving a mission in Brazil.) We made Japanese curry for lunch. Delicious food, warm company, lovely lunch.

This is at her graveside service. I was so glad and honored to be invited. Yuko's daughter is on the far left, and the rest of us are friends from all over the world.

I know that I am now refreshed and can better do my day job on a basic level. I hope to be a better wife, mother, sister, and person. Yuko, I hope to be a bit more like you.

Mata au hi made.

Birthday Card

2011-10-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,

Happy 61st Birthday! I don't know if birthdays from this life count where you are now, but I am thinking of you all the same. Maki is, too. So is Jessica. We miss you.

Love,
Katie

Found My Camera

2011-08-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

Blog title says it all.

My bro participated in a charity event. Fundraiser for the Denver Adult Down Syndrome Clinic, which is an essential part of his life right now. My brother is the bomb, apparently.

Here he is with some Denver Broncos cheerleaders, and below with none other than Miss Colorado.

Here he is with some Denver Nuggets dancers. He was pretty busy that evening, as he was also part of the main entertainment. Some of the clients of the organization put together some dance numbers and performed them. The best, though, was that Maki danced with all of these very nice, lovely ladies that evening. It was fun!

A couple of years ago, I enrolled Ellie in ballet classes. After a few months, I realized it was a total bust. She was not loving it, to say the least. I gave her a year off and now we are back at it. Here is the first day of ballet (and tap and tumbling) lessons, part II. We hope it sticks this time.

This child can't not pose for a photo.

A week later, school started. It was a very exciting day, since it was Ellie's first day of kindergarten.

I had to throw these in here, just to balance things out.

Unfortunately, for this date and time, this is all I could get of this guy. Hey, at least he's wearing pants!

Waiting for the bus. I'm only partially joking when I say that I selected the kids' elementary school based on the fact that the bus will take them to school. (I can be one lazy mama!)

Have a good day at school!

Despite the fact that I grew up where I grew up, I am one who makes a point of staying away from nature as much as possible. (Not quite as bad as Monk, but I definitely sympathize with his position.) I believe that there is such thing as too much nature, and that threshold isn't very high.

Today, however, we made a short trip into nature--the Garden of the Gods, to be exact. It was, of course, beautiful. Despite the intense heat, it was a fun and worthwhile family activity. It was made even more worthwhile afterwards when we went to Rudy's for lunch/dinner. Yum....mmm....

It was a good day. It's been a good summer. I don't think I'm ready for it to be over.

Filler

2011-08-25T22:16:00.000-07:00

Dear World,

I have been a terrible blogger. At this point, I don't think I can even call myself a blogger. (Which begs the question, what is the definition of a real blogger, anyway? But this is not a topic for this particular blog.) I rarely post. Currently, I have left off part III of a 3-part series on my family's vacation that we took in May. I will repeat, I am a terrible blogger.

My current excuse for not keeping up is that we recently purchased a new computer. While I am loving this change (we are now converted Mac users), it has turned my world upside down. Not just learning to use the Mac, but transferring files, etc. (Thanks Dr. Doctor Dirty!) Add to that, the fact that I hate the camera that I currently own, and if you know me, you know that if I have taken a dislike to anything, it's bad news for that item. In this case, it means that (a) I can't find the stinkin' device; and (b) even if I had the stinkin' thing in hand right now, it might not make a difference because it hasn't been working due to some possible abuse it has experienced at my hands. (I mentioned that I have taken a dislike to this thing, right?)

Anyway, the newest photos are not currently accessible. I apologize. Here is a cute photo just to keep you reading. (Old file photo.)

That reminds me, I need to deep clean my kitchen. Well, my house, really. But then, what's the point? I have 3 kids, the oldest of whom is 5 years old, the middle of whom is 3 years old and has a Y chromosome (if you have a child with a Y chromosome, you know the implications), and the youngest, of whom is as much trouble as 2 or 3 of the middle child. Youngest of said children doesn't even have a Y chromosome. Oh, and she bites.

To continue with the futility of cleaning my house--Judd is in the process of potty training. Long story short, the world is his potty. More specifically, my hardwood floors are his personal toilet. (Clorox is currently my best friend.) If you know my son, you are currently thinking, "I can see that." Personally, I would just have him stay in diapers because potty training is the pits. (Second only to breast feeding, in my opinion. Le Leche League, please refrain from commenting, ever, on this website.) However, I have 2 major motivators driving this thing: (1) 3-year-old child poop really stinks and (2) he starts preschool in a couple of weeks. I'm up against a deadline here. (In case you're wondering, Jake still holds his breath when he changes the kids' diapers.

Anyway, here's to hoping that my next blog post is all about the Chuck-e-Cheese potty training victory party. Oh, and here is my message to the world about potty training:

Makers of toddler underpants, please make them so the picture is in the FRONT. If the picture is not in the FRONT, my child has to wear his underpants backwards so the picture will be in FRONT. He has a very difficult wedgie he futilely adjusts all day long because he has to have the picture in FRONT. Thank you.

Here is another gratuitous photo:

Because I am a terrible blogger, this is all for now. I promise to one day finish my travelogue. I really need to find my camera, upload the photos, and break the stinkin' thing for good.

In case you're wondering, that is the same cabinet the kids are playing in. Currently, all three kids disappear into that cabinet on a daily basis. I need to get a photo of that. Where is that stinkin' camera?

Tribute

2011-06-15T21:17:00.001-07:00

It's almost Father's Day, and I would like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to my mother. Late, I know, but I was not able to do this on Mother's Day. Please indulge me.

The photo is of her when she was about my age, maybe younger. This is one of the many ways I remember her. At this age, she was vibrant and full of life. A terrible cook, though. I used to dread meal times. Don't worry, she got better at it. By the time I was a teenager, I actually looked forward to her meals.

On our recent trip to Japan, I found myself buying and eating things just because they were things that reminded me of my mother. I found, also, that that was something some of her friends did also. My mom had a real sweet tooth. She loved Japanese sweets that were filled with or made with anko (sweet bean paste).

I credit my mom with many things in my life. Here are a few:

+ I'm a pretty decent piano player. My mom sacrificed to make sure I got my lessons. (We didn't have disposable cash when I was a kid.) She also didn't give me a choice about the matter, and I'm glad for that. I think of her every time I sit at a piano.

+ My tastes in food. I like salty things and sweet things. Oh, and spicy things. Basically, the kinds of foods she preferred, I prefer.

+ The confidence to do the things that I've done. Many things that I have done, I did because she said I could do it. I guess that's a mom's job, right?

The list could go on and on.

It's been a little over a year since she died, and I still think about her all the time. I think I still miss her as much as I did a year ago, but it doesn't hurt nearly so much. Ellie still remembers her vividly. It's amazing the things she recalls--like the park they used to walk to every day the summer that she lived with us.

I just wanted to say "thanks, mom, wherever you are," on this not-Mother's Day.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Journey, Part 2

2011-06-15T20:45:00.001-07:00

Here we are, at week two of our fabulous Japan vacation--finally. We headed back to Tokyo via shinkansen (bullet train) and reunited with my brother. Incidentally, he had fattened up nicely since I had seen him last. An entire week of eating whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted had taken its toll.

We were able to visit my grandmother for Mother's Day. The kids actually had a great time at my grandma's place.

Here's Ellie posing with her namesake. She is named after my Aunt Sumie, who is my mom's younger sister.

Ohaka-Mairi (Grave-Visiting)

Something that I was thrilled to be able to do was visit my grandfather's grave. He passed away ten days before my mother did last year. It was a very interesting experience.

Here is my aunt cleaning the grave stone. Every stone in the cemetery was sparkly clean. It was beautiful and impressive. The stone is actually the marker for an entire family. So far, my grandfather's ashes are the only ones in this grave, but it is intended for the entire family.

My family's crest. Each family has one.

Here is the fruit of my aunt's labors. Pretty cool, huh?

Tokyo Disney Sea

We went to Disneyland. The truth is, Disneyland was a major factor in our dicision to go to Japan. For one, it is incredibly convenient to go to Disneyland in Japan, particularly if you are staying in the Tokyo area. So you just have to go. We actually guaged whether we would go to Japan based on whether Disneyland was going to re-open after the earthquake and tsunami. They re-opened about a week before we went, and Disney Sea re-opened the first week we were there. It was perfect.

Also, making our experience awesome was the fact that there were very few people there the day we went. We didn't have to wait in line, and we were able to see all the shows we wanted to see.

If you're wondering what Disney Sea is, it is a Disney theme park based on the ocean. It is quite fun, and definitely unique to Japan. (We skipped Tokyo Disneyland for this trip and opted to do one day only at Disney Sea.)

We went with some of my family's lifelong friends, the Sawaguchis. Yoshiko-obasan (Aunt Yoshiko) was my mom's best friend in junior high school, and they have been very close ever since. She has three children, one of whom is two weeks older than I. We've been friends, literally, since birth. Her name is Nahomi. She has a daughter, Sora, who is six months younger than my Ellie. But Judd decided she was his girlfriend. He still talks about her all the time.

Here's Yoshiko-obasan trying to reign in my son.

Ellie, Judd, and Sora hanging out with Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket.

I have no idea who this parrot-looking thing is supposed to be, but here's the crew again.

All in all, an awesome day. Perfect weather, no lines, great friends, lots of fun!

Lost in Tokyo

The Big Event of the trip happened when we came back to our apartments after Disney Sea. Easily one of the worst nights of my life.

By the time we reached Ueno Station (major Tokyo train station), Ellie was asleep and Jake had to carry her. Luella was in her stroller, and Judd was walking alongside. Jake, being tired from carrying Ellie all the way from Disneyland, went ahead of us and rushed to the apartment. I told Maki to go with Jake, so he went ahead, too. That left Lorraine, Judd, Luella, and me. It took us some time to get to the apartment because we had to carry the stroller down several staircases just to get out of the train station.

When we were almost to the apartment, Jake met us on the street, and we were chatting as we continued on our way. Jake said, "Where's Maki?"

I thought he was joking. He wasn't. My gut sank to my feet. Almost immediately, Jake went off in search of my brother. We agreed that Lorraine would stay with the kids and then I would head out to search.

As I was walking back toward the train station, I realized that there was no way we were going to find my lost brother in the middle of metropolitan Tokyo. No way. Oh, and by the way, this was about 10:30-11:00 pm.

Before I left the apartment, Lorraine had showed me on a map where the police station was. As I approached the train station, I ran into Jake who had basically circumnavigated a whole section of the train station. No Maki. I told him that we needed to go to the police. We went to the police station.

There was almost no one in the police station, despite it being one of the major stations in the city. (Lowest crime rate in the world, in case you didn't know.) A receptionist took our report and got an APB out. He sent me back to the apartment to look around that area and also to stay put so he could find me if he needed to. He sent Jake out to keep looking.

Just as I was entering the apartment building, I got a phone call. The police had found Maki. I was to return to the police station so they could take us to where he was. (Where had he gone that we needed a ride to get him?)

It turned out that he was at a satellite police station, a 15-minute ride by car. One of the police officers thought it would have taken 45 minutes, at least, for Maki to have ended up where he did. They said that someone found him in the street, crying. Fortunately, that person had called the police, which happened to be right around the time the APB went out.

After filing reports, many thank-yous, etc., we finally arrived at our apartments after midnight. It was a bad night. But, lots of prayers answered. Thank you, Tokyo Metropolitan Police. Thank you, Aunt Rainey.

In the interest of space, time, and not boring you, the reader, to death, we shall continue this travelogue at a different time. Stay tuned!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Journey, Part 1

2011-05-26T20:24:00.001-07:00

It finally happened. We went. It was pretty much a last-minute decision, and motivated largely by a desire to not see a mountain of money get flushed down the toilet.

Which is to say, we went to Japan. We got back two weeks ago, so my blogging today is actually quite timely on my part. On April 30, we got up sometime in the 3:00 am hour, packed our kids and Maki into the SW, and headed to the airport to catch a 6:40 am flight. INSANE! There, we met up with our fearless travel companion, Jake's aunt Lorraine. She has traveled to Japan with us before.

3-hour flight to Los Angeles, then a few hours layover, which turned into several hours layover, then a complete ditch of the first airplane in favor of the "spare" airplane. Jake and I reminisced about our first trip to Japan together. It involved an emergency landing on an Air Force Base. But that is a different story.

Here is Big Bro getting excited about his big trip in L.A.

Here's Little Buddy being the complete punk that he is. He loved watching the big airplanes, though.

This is the airplane bassinet. Luella didn't really like it, but I sure did.

After the flight from hell, we landed in Tokyo (Narita). The airplane or airline is not to blame on this one. You should try traveling with three kids, ages 5 years, 2 years, and 11 months, on a 12 hour flight. Also, with an adult to keep track of. I will stop complaining here--if I don't, this posting will be all about how we should never ever ever travel with children. Ever. Ever.

We handed off my brother to my dear aunt, and we headed to our hotel. (My aunt took care of Maki for the first week.)

We had planned to spend our first week in Osaka, so after one night in the fine city of Narita, we hopped on a bullet train for Western Japan.

Here's half our crew in the shinkansen. Judd thought it was awesome.

Osaka

I have been to Osaka once. It was eleven years ago, and I went there for the sole purpose of going to Universal Studios. It was very hot, and we left quite early because of that. This would be my first real trip there.

Osaka has an aquarium that is supposed to be one of the world's best. We went there. I should also mention at this point, that our first week in Japan was what is called "Golden Week" because it is a week that has a handful of national holidays. Most people will just take the entire week off to travel. Thus, tourist attractions are insanely crowded during this week.

That is what the aquarium was like. Insanely crowded. (Sorry, no photos from inside the aquarium--way too many people. You don't know crowded until you've seen a crowd in Japan!) We managed to work through the crowd, though, and we did see some pretty cool things there.

This is at a fountain in front of the aquarium. In case you haven't noticed, Judd doesn't pose for photos. I guess Luella doesn't either.

This is at the mall next to the aquarium. This is an old fashioned truck--I think probably a food-delivery truck.

To be quite honest we used Osaka as more as a base for our excursions through Western Japan. For example, we took a day trip to Nara, one of the ancient capitals of Japan. This is another place I had never been. The big attraction for us here was Nara park, which is home to various gardens, temples, 200 or so tame deer, and a giant Buddha. Oh, and the largest wooden structure in the world.

This is a real, live, breathing deer. They were everywhere.

Five-storey pagoda.

Beautiful cherry blossom tree.

Beautiful garden.

Largest wooden structure in the world (Todai-ji). It is only 2/3 of its original size. This thing was enormous. You don't get a sense of its size unless you see it in person. It houses the giant Buddha.

I love giant Buddhas. I don't know why. I think they are really cool. I've seen the one in Kamakura several times, but I understand that this one is bigger.

This is the interior of the building. On the opposite side, almost across from this scary looking statue, is one of these huge wooden support posts. It has a hole cut out of the bottom of it, just big enough for a child or a small adult to crawl through. The legend is that if you can crawl through the hole, you are guaranteed enlightenment. (Incidently, the hole is the same size as one of the giant Buddha's nostrils.)

So, of course, my kids had to do it. Even if we had to wait in line for 45 minutes.

On Jake's birthday, which also happens to be Children's Day in Japan, we went to Kobe. So, of course, we had to have...Kobe Beef!

Isn't this beautiful!? We definitely splurged on this one!

It was a Happy Birthday treat for sure!

We spent one day at the Osaka-jo Koen (Osaka Castle Park). It's a huge park surrounding Osaka Castle. No, we did not visit the castle. After visiting the previous sites, we realized that such a historical wonder would be utterly wasted on the kids. So we did this instead. It turned out to be a good thing.

That wraps up our time in Western Japan. More to come later. For videos, please see my Facebook page. (I haven't figured out how to upload videos to Blogger via iPad yet.)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

As Promised...

2011-04-22T20:25:00.001-07:00

Here it is, weeks after my last post here, and finally posting details of our Utah trip. It was just yesterday that I figured out the finer points of blogging on my iPad, particularly, posting photos. (My kids can operate this thing better than I can.) Here are some fun details:

My brother got a burger. We don't eat a lot of burgers with fries and soft drink around home, so he was happy as a tween girl at a Bieber concert.

Burger courtesy of LaBeau's, Logan, Utah. Check my food blog for details.

Cousins!

Maki letting loose.

The weather was crazy while we were there. Sun, rain, snow. We put flowers on my mom's grave. It was super snowy and then it got sunny. Kind of like the day of her funeral. The kids wouldn't stay in the car, despite the half-foot of snow.

Don't forget the obligatory McDonald's on the road.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

On the Road

2011-03-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

Because our initial travel plans were shot and I desperately needed to get out and go somewhere, and because we are still up in the air as to whether we will still be going to Japan at all this year, we decided to make an impromptu trip to Utah. A mini-vacation of sorts. Jake hatched this plot at about 6:30 am yesterday (Saturday), and we were on the road by 2:00 pm the same day. Amazing, considering the mountain of laundry that had to be done beforehand. (I conquered it, in case you were wondering.)

So, here we are in Logan, Utah, on a trek to put flowers on my mom's grave and also visit my baby sister who lives here with her two kiddos. I would love to insert some adorable photos of all the Murphy cousins playing together, but, as usual, (1)I didn't take any good photos, and (2) even if I had, there's only about a 50% chance that I would have been able to figure out how to upload from camera to ipad and then on to Blogger. (I haven't owned the iPad for very long, and suffice it to say, my kids can operate this thing better than I can.) I will report, however, that the cousins are having a great time together thus far. We visit the grave tomorrow and hang out some more with the family before we head back to SLC and then back home.

I did, however, want to leave you dear readers with a few thoughts I had while traveling:

1. Why, oh why do business establishments only install baby changing stations in the women's room and not in the men's room? Well, I can tell you why, of course, but seriously, WHY? Between Denver and Salt Lake City, for this reason alone, I had the privilege of changing ALL of the diapers. I have two kids in diapers. That's a lot of changing. On what is supposedly my vacation. (I use that term tongue-in-cheek, of course.) Damn sexist pigs, if you ask me!

2. Those who know me and my life, will know my interest in "the extra chromosome." As I was in the thick of my amazing and awe-inspiring pre-trip preparations, I came to a realization of what the extra chromosome is. It appears to be the chromosome that makes a person unable to operate a zipper properly. This has been demonstrated with several, if not all significant zippers in the life of a certain person who has this extra chromosome, including ones that are supposed to be of such high quality that it can't possibly be messed up. But, that darned chromosome can do it every time, even on an Osprey daypack. Very seriously jacked up that zipper. I have dubbed it "The Zipper Chromosome."

3. I occasionally wonder if my dear husband and children might also carry The Zipper Chromosome.

4. I do believe that I carry "The Anti Zipper Chromosome." It's the part of your DNA that makes a person able to un-jack-up any zipper that has been jacked up by one carrying "The Zipper Chromosome." Yeah, I totally showed that Osprey who was boss.

5. Which joke is funnier:
Jake: Knock knock!
Ellie: Who's there?
Jake: Banana
Ellie: Banana who?
Jake: Banana
Ellie: Banana who?
Jake: Banana
Ellie: Banana who?
Jake: Orange
Ellie: Orange who?
Jake: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Ellie: Knock knock!
Jake: Who's there?
Ellie: Hair
Jake: Hair who?
Ellie: Hair
Jake: Hair who?
Ellie: Hair
Jake: Hair who?
Ellie: Mountain
Jake: Mountain who?
Ellie: Mountain you glad I didn't say Hair?

6. Driving 12 hours with three kids under the age of 5 is not exactly a vacation. At least, not if you define a vacation as something you do for rest, relaxation, and fun.

7. Last night's sleeping arrangement was quite hilarious. Jake and Maki in one bed, Ellie and I in another bed, and Judd and Lu each in a cribs. I think the only person who was happy with her sleeping assignment was Ellie. Ellie and I learned something, though. A lot of strange noise comes from a boy's bed at night--we were awfully glad to not have to smell any of it!

If I get a moment, I will report some more on my earth-shatteringly interesting trip to Utah. Hopefully tomorrow. We shall see.

Going on Vacation

2011-03-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

Airplane tickets: purchased and confirmed
Condo rental: confirmed
Hotel reservation: confirmed
Electronic gadgets to ocupy children: purchased
Electronic gadgets to document children's delight: found
Gifts for people we visit: purchased
Enough appropriate clothing for everyone for duration of vacation: check

According to my schedule, I would be cleaning and packing for the next two days before we leave on Saturday.

Big problem: our destination is Tokyo, Japan.

Flights: canceled
Condo: canceled
Hotel: canceled
Electronic gadgets for kids: kids are playing with them
Electronic gadgets for documentation: back in the closet
Clothing: in a pile, still waiting to be washed

As it turns out, our family vacation is the least of anyone's problems. (In case you're wondering, my family is in the Tokyo area, safe from the tsunami. All accounted for, but struggling with the current situation. And scared to death for what the future may hold.) Though optimistic when I first heard the news, over the course of the weekend, I've come to realize that the situation is intensely bleak.

We, here in the U.S., we don't get the full effect of what has happened. We have NHK, a Japanese broadcaster, through our cable. Currently, it just plays news around the clock, with updates and reports regarding the tsunami, the earthquakes, and the nuclear power plant. When I sit to watch it, I just cry. When things get bleak, my silver lining is always that all things end at some point. This situation in Japan, hower, doesn't seem to end. Each new day has brought a new tragedy.

I have learned that (since an oil refinery blew up) there is no gasoline, even in Tokyo. My aunt is facing empty store shelves and packages not being delivered. She and her husband run the cafeteria of a dormitory, and there have been no food deliveries. Adding to this problem are the rolling blackouts. Twice a day, for three hours at a time.

Add to this, the fact that no one had reliable information. If you have been trying to follow this nuclear thing, you know that everyone is saying something different. It is becoming clear that no one is telling the whole truth. At this point, I'm hearing a lot of speculation.

So, dear friends, pray for a miracle.

Our last visit to Japan. That's little Ellie and my mom.

Not To Get All "Princess Bride" On You, But. . .

2011-02-15T17:42:00.000-08:00

Jake usually calls me from work before he makes the daring drive home from downtown. After I hung up the phone today, Ellie asked me why I always tell Daddy to drive safe, "even if it's not snowing or raining or even if there's no tornado?" (Obviously, I need to have a conversation with her about her fears of the weather.) I gave her a totally lame explanation, but I was reminded of some enlightenment I recently experienced.

I remember an incident during my late teens, when I was at the height of my wisdom and maturity, getting upset with my mom because she had told me to drive safely. For the millionth time. And I was, technically, an adult. Also, it wasn't like I was going to drive unsafely on purpose. What a stupid thing to say. I'm sure some of you have had either a similar rant, or at least thought when you, too, were a mature and knowledgeable teenager. I think my mom said something to the effect that she was my mother and if she felt like she needed to tell me to be careful, then she was going to tell me to be careful. She totally put me in my place, but I really didn't get it at the time.

A few weeks ago, as Jake was leaving for his daily brave ascent into the city, I told hime to drive safely. It was then that things finally clicked. I realized that my mom was really saying, "I love you," every time she told me to drive safely. You see, my mom being Japanese and, on top of that, staunchly Japanese, she rarely explicitly expressed any emotion. I knew that's what she meant because that's what I mean when I tell Jake to drive safely. That's what I mean when I say many of the things that I say to my children.

That was my moment of love and enlightenment on this day after Valentine's.

Some random but somewhat related thoughts:

1. I crashed my car a week and a half ago. It was during a major snow storm. No one was injured. I probably could have avoided the accident, but, in my defense, no one told me to drive safe before I left the house.

2. In "The Princess Bride," Ellie figured out immediately that the Dread Pirate Roberts was really Westley. I think that when I saw it for the first time, I didn't figure that out until he actually took off his mask. I think I was 12 years old, too.

3. When Jake says, "Honey, I'm just really full," it really means, "Honey, your cooking really blows tonight."

4. When my kids say, "I love you, Mommy," it usually means they either just got something they wanted or they are about to get something they wanted. Either way, I'll take it.

Mormon Mommy Blog

2011-01-18T21:19:00.000-08:00

Ellie made a covered wagon at school today. I guess it's cowboy week, and every day is a different cowboy theme. When Jake came home from work today, Ellie told him, "Daddy, this is my covered wagon. It does not belong in Mommy's bed." Ok, ok, so maybe I planted that seed, but it was funny, wasn't it? (In case you want to dig further into the undertone of this particular conversation, read this post by a dear friend of ours.)

To get down to business, I am writing in response to an article by Emily Matchar that is making a ripple in the Mormon community. It is, in a nutshell, about Mormon Mommy blogs and some of the people who are fascinated by them. (I would recommend skimming this article before reading further here.) This article made me wonder if this blog here would be considered a Mormon Mommy blog. Well, I can definitively tell you that, after perusing through a few of the blogs mentioned specifically in the article, my blog does not fall into this category. Ha ha. Never in a million years would this blog fall into that category. Yet, here I am responding. Here are a few thoughts:

(1) The truth is, I do have plenty in common with the bloggers of these Mommy blogs. I am a faithful and enthusiastic member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I cook. I sew. I make my own jam and can it, too. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I have a super-human compulsion to be thin. (Or at least thinner than I am.) The huge difference I see is that in my blog, you will find posts that include the above-mentioned exchange with my daughter. Here, you will also find interesting tidbits such as my son's usual diet ('Ucky Charms, tofu, and snot); how not to potty-train your toddler (or how to find Judd-pies all over the house); and why camping is totally inferior to sleeping in your bed at home (sleeping on the ground, not in a shelter--are you kidding me?).

(2) I'm not so convinced that this genre of blogging is unique to Mormon housewives. Martha Stewart and subsequent wannabes have made homemaking an insanely popular pursuit. I don't think it's just the Mormons who are participating in this!

(3) Ms. Matchar makes a point of the fact that she is highly educated, feminist, and atheist, thereby distinguishes herself from the authors of these blogs. I believe it is folly to believe that because a person chooses to stay at home with the kids and excel in her domestic pursuits, this person is a simpleton. I know plenty of "highly educated" housewives, myself included. Feminist? Ok, so let's be frank. How many American women are there who aren't, in some way, feminist? I think the majority of us are going to demand the same pay as our male counterparts in the workplace. (Please no one post comments regarding feminist theory--I totally won't read them.) So, Ms. Matchar, to what are you referring? Are you maybe trying to say that housewifery is inferior to non-housewifery? Feminists don't engage in stay-at-home-mom-ing? I also know some feminists who are stay-at-home moms, so that premise doesn't work, either. So far, to me, the only distinguishing characteristic between Ms. Matchar and Mormon Mommies is that you are an atheist. Let's be frank, though. Ms. Matchar is only in her twenties. She has plenty of life left for that to change.

That's my two cents' worth. It's late and I've devoted too much time to this post. Time to get back to making awesome home-crafted stuff. Here's a photo of my awesome kids.

Happy 2011!

2011-01-11T22:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I apologize for my long, long absence. I'm sure you are thinking that I have not been faithfully documenting my family's life because nothing has happened. Ha ha. Actually, I haven't been blogging because too much seems to happen. Usually it's mountains of laundry, which is intensely boring, but nonetheless, it takes up my precious time.

However, tonight, I am dedicating a few moments to some random thoughts that I have had. Oh, Happy New Year, btw. (See, random thought right there.) I can do this because Jake is out of town, my kids are, by some miracle, asleep at this hour, and I've decided to ignore the state of the upper two levels of my house for just one more day.

First of all, this last year has been (1) busy; (2) tumultuous; (3) intense; and (4) INSANE, to say the least. Lots of shuffling around. We went through a people shuffle (what a vulgar way to put it!), then a car shuffle, then a car seat shuffle. My dear family and friends already know that in the past year, my grandfather passed away. Then my mother, then my aunt. But then, we gained family members--like my brother, who now lives with us. We were elated to welcome Luella into our lives also. I should also mention that we also welcomed a nephew into the family (Jake's sister's son). Despite the heartbreak of having to say goodbye to our loved ones, we have also had more than our fair share of joys.

Let's not forget the car shuffle. We went from this sleek and sexy ride

to this.

Yup. We did it. It was necessary. And we definitely fill it up. No wasted space here. As for sex appeal? Definitely out the door. Down the toilet. Dissipated into thin air. Completely gone. But where it lacks in that department, it makes up in plenty of other ways. Sliding doors. LOTS of space. Powerful engine and 4wd (which was awesome today when I had to plow through a foot of snow to park at Ellie's school because here in Denver, snow plows are considered a waste of money).

Oh, and then my Corolla (or as Jake affectionately called it, the Crapola) started giving out, so I forced Jake to replace it. This is what he replaced it with:

Same color and everything. I would say I'm surprised at his choice, but if you remember Halloween 2008, you would know that I shouldn't be surprised at anything that man undertakes. Anyway, it takes care of our cummuter-car needs, mainly gas mileage.

Now I will get to the car seat shuffle. Oh the car seat shuffle. Luella is getting to be too big for her infant carrier car seat. So we needed to bump her up to Judd's car seat. That would mean that one of the older kids would need a new car seat. I was hoping to put one of them in a booster because they are much much cheaper than another regular car seat. The problem is, neither Judd nor Ellie is tall enough or weighs enough to qualify for the booster, so we had to purchase yet another full-on infant/toddler car seat. Here's where it got really maddening. Since we were going to have to pull out all the car seats anyway, Jake went ahead and gave the swagger wagon an awewomely thorough cleaning. All the seats were in the house, and I decided to give all the seat covers a wash. This left all the parts of the car seats exposed. Judd ATE the styrofoam head protector out of what would have been Luella's car seat. He ATE it! Well, more accurately, he tried to eat it, then changed his mind. Well, what's the point of a stupid infant car seat if the protective aspects have been removed? Even if you have owned said car seat since the birth of your first child and had really intended for such car seat to be an investment in the safety of all future children. Argh!!! Hence, the purchase of the second car seat--still waiting for that one to arrive. Oh, my son!

Which brings me to this final section of my long and (assuming here) long-awaited blog. Random thoughts:

(1) One should never give my husband a high-tech gadget, such as an i-pod, as a gift. That is, if you intend for him to actually use it. After two years, I have decided to take back said i-pod nano and gift it to myself. Next I think I will give him a MacBook Air.
(2) My son, who usually doesn't talk at all, asked me yesterday, "Mommy, do dinosaurs eat poop?" I told him no. Then he asked, "Do they eat animals?" I said yes.
(3) It's really not nice to say, "Hmmmm. So you decided to go with an open casket..." in a questioning and sarcastic tone to the family of the deceased. Yes, that really happened at my mom's viewing. Upon reflection, I'm thinking that woman was probably still angry about being fired from selling my mom's house five years ago.
(4) Altitude makes a huge difference.
(5) Three kids, all under the age of 5, will not pose for a photograph, unless you hire a professional. Here are some of our attempts:

Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

2010-09-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

My son. He has an alter ego. I shall call him "Bad Boy." My brother, he wishes he had an alter ego. Or many, since he seems to have a love of all superheroes.

My brother goes to elaborate lengths to transform into whomever it is that he is that day. For instance, last week, he decided that he was Superman and biked to the park in a Superman T-shirt and red cape waving gloriously in his wake. What was particularly awesome about scene was that the kids and I happened to be attending playgroup, so there were many witnesses to Superman's arrival. Superman's existence at my house is no longer a secret. Then, he decided that the bike didn't give him enough of that flying feeling, so he hit the swings. I wish I had a photo of it. Picture a grown man, complete with mustache and cape, on his belly on a swing at the park, swinging with all his might and trying to keep his body stiff and straight as a board. That is my brother's transformation.

Or, sometimes he surprises me like this. At a party. A work party. Jake's firm's work party.

I definitely wasn't prepared to see this last night. Believe me, this guy was ecstatic to be the Incredible Hulk for the evening. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to convince him to wash it off before he went to bed.

That's my brother. On the other hand, my son's transformation to Bad Boy seems to be less self-controlled and more spontaneous. Something akin to a werewolf during a full moon or Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk. I have observed, also, that much like these fictional characters, Judd doesn't much enjoy his alter ego. It's a strange internal conflict.

Here's how Bad Boy operates. Judd is behaving well. I will call the good Judd "Juddy Buddy." Juddy Buddy is playing nicely. He is coloring with his big sister. He is kissing his baby sister. All is well. Then I am momentarily distracted, only to have my attention acutely brought back to the scene at hand by either (1) big sister screaming and crying; (2) baby sister crying; or (3) everybody crying. Upon investigation, I discover that Judd has either (1) yanked out a handful of Ellie's hair; (2) sat on Luella; or most likely (3) both and also pooped on the floor just for good measure. Did I mention that I hate poop? For more on my sentiments on poop, click poop.

That was an example of the transformation when if happens quickly. Today and yesterday, I witnessed, at a slower pace, the transformation as it was happening. Judd is playing nicely. He is Juddy Buddy.

He realizes that mom is not paying attention any more. He gets "the look" in his eyes. (I believe that all of the Rosses know about "the look.") Unbeknownst to him, I have turned her attention back to the kids and am now watching this change take place. As his hand slowly reaches out, undoubtedly to cause mischief, I hear him say, in a low, growly voice, "bad boy." At this time, I see that trouble is brewing and I stop him in his tracks. Sisters are spared, if only for the moment. Bad Boy is not happy to have been caught before he could have his fun. He screams, "bad boy!" and appears to be ready to throw a tantrum, but then turns back into Juddy Buddy. He giggles and continues on his way.

I believe I have a supervillain on my hands.

Random Trivia:

(1) I think Maki has about 5 Superman T-shirts.
(2) Yes, Judd has pooped on the floor. Totally used my hardwood as his personal toilet.
(3) Jake still holds his breath when he changes the kids' diapers. Not that I know for certain, but I don't think he does the same when he uses the bathroom . . .
(4) The biggest, baddest insult that Judd believes he can inflict upon a person is to call him or her a Bad Boy. He frequently calls Maki a Bad Boy. I have been called a Bad Boy on occasion.
(5) My brother and my son don't get along. I hear them fighting quite frequently, and it often ends with Judd coming to me to report that "Maki mean!"

All About Judd

2010-08-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Today's posting is all about this guy.

He just turned 2. He had the same birthday cake on his last birthday, but it was a mini bundt cake. He got a full size bundt cake this time. This time, he didn't hate the cake--he seems to have come out of his anti-bread-and-cake phase.

I don't know if it's the new baby of if it's the terrible twos, but we've had issues with this child lately. Here is a sampling:

I guess it's no surprise that he would mess with his little sister. He is, after all, his father's son. Here is Judd's particular brand.

So, he doesn't always do obnoxious things to her, but he can't seem to ever leave her alone. Not even for a short nap.

He always seems to be in her face, but it's usually something sweet.

He likes to be involved in whatever I'm doing. I'm usually doing housework, so little Buddy also wants to do housework. Here's a shot of some freelance pants-free clean-up.

If you're noticing the big-boy underpants, don't be too impressed. He's wearing those over a diaper. Yeah, another way my little guy is unique.

Tantrums. Now I have two kids who throw tantrums. They are both really good at the tantrums. LOUD. The difference with Judd, though, is that, on occasion, the tantrum will resolve itself and I will find him in the most random place.

The other end-of-tantrum nap shot that I have is not publishable, unfortunately. It's one of my personal favorites. He was naked and sprawled on the bathroom floor.

It's not just his baby sister that he messes with. He's also always in Ellie's face. Or pulling her hair. Or hitting her. Or taking her stuff. Nothing is sacred or off limits with this guy. He even takes Ellie's makeup and puts it on. It's a little startling to see your little boy in full eye shadow and lipstick. It usually makes Ellie really mad, but there was one time when Ellie and her cousin gave Judd a full makeover. Shocking for me, but the girls really seemed pleased with their work.

This shot is at the end of a long, long day with this guy. He would not go to bed. Later, we discovered this. This is Ellie's bed, by the way.

Overall, the kid is a punk. But he's so darn cute, he just makes me laugh when he does something bad.

Where Have We Been?

2010-05-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

Where do I start? We have had an eventful couple of months in our family. I guess I will rewind to Ellie's birthday in April. Jake and I decided on a Chuck-e-Cheese party. It was totally over the top and an obnoxious affair, but we had our reasons. (1) I was very pregnant; (2) We are not creative people and didn't want to have to come up with a creative kids' party on our own; (3) Liability--we have a hazardous yard. After hours of research, we decided Chuck-e-Cheese was our best bet. The kids had fun, and I'm glad I didn't have to clean up that mess.

My mom came for Ellie's birthday, and we had no idea that would be the last time we would get to see her. I'm so glad she made the trip and the sacrifice. I found out later that she was really sick that week, but was determined to come to Ellie's birthday anyway. Just days later she passed away.

I will spare you the dramatic details, except to say that as soon as we found out about my mom, Jake and I packed up the kids and Maki (he was already staying with us) and drove to Utah. It was a difficult trip in many ways, one of which was the fact that I was 36 weeks pregnant and had spent the day before in the hospital trying to prevent preterm labor. OK, so I said I'd spare you the dramatic details--sorry!

It was quite a week in Utah. We arranged for viewings, funeral, burial, and also had to clear out and clean my mom's house that she was renting. It was a miracle that we accomplished all that. No joke, my mom's house was sparkly clean by the time we left. We had so much help with everything, and I can't begin to explain all the amazing things that happened that week.

One of those amazing things was that my mom's sister came from Japan for the funeral. Things were very difficult for her because just ten days before my mom passed away, their dad passed away. She was still reeling from that huge event when I told her about my mom. She was determined to be there with us for my mom's funeral, and I am so glad she came. She is on the far right.

I wish I had more photos of people that were there, but taking pictures wasn't really on my mind that week. My mom's best friend, Yuko, who was with her when she died, also stayed the extra week so she could be at the funeral. She was so wonderful to have there all that week.

This is the beautiful cemetery where we buried my mom. It's a new cemetery, still being constructed, and she was only maybe the tenth person to be buried there. The location was perfect for many reasons. You can see the beautiful view, for one. But one thing about this cemetery that is very special, is that it is located directly up the hill from the house that my mom designed and built 16 years ago. It's the one we had to sell when her cancer became terminal--the one she absolutely loved. The cemetery is about a 5-minute walk from that house.

When we finally came home from Utah, it was already May, which meant Jake's birthday, our 6th wedding anniversary, and the upcoming birth of number 3. First, Jake's birthday. We went to Miyama, which is a totally cheesey, Beni-Hana-esque Japanese steakhouse. It was fun, though. I took a totally cheesey picture of the two of us, but there were plenty of other people with us: the kids, Maki, Jake's parents and brother and sister. Jake's big B-day gift: reinstatement of cable television, including the Fox soccer channel.

I had no idea that later that night, Jake would blow out his knee in a game of indoor soccer and require major surgery. Yeah, does life ever get less complicated?

Finally, here we are at the latest event in our fast-growing family. This is our newest pride and joy.

Luella Noriko Ross.

She was born Thursday, May 27, which made her 3 days late. I got tired of waiting. Isn't she gorgeous? Luella is Jake's grandma's middle name, and Noriko was my mom's name. We had a different middle name picked out for her, but the day I filled out her social security application, I was missing my mom in the worst way, and this is the name she ended up with.

As you can see, we've had a lot going on, and I haven't even mentioned the virus this computer contracted. (One of the reasons this blog has been silent for so long.) In case you're wondering about the person count in the Ross home, we are up to 6. In addition to the new baby, Maki moved in with us permanently. (Hooray!) We're still trying to figure out our car situation. But that's life, right?

Noriko Yamane Murphy: 1950-2010

2010-04-24T23:40:00.000-07:00

Early yesterday morning, my mom's 5-year battle with cancer came to an end. Today, after one of the busiest days I have ever experienced, I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the things that have happened over the last couple of days.

Ironically, she did not die of cancer. She died of a heart attack. Even more irony: about a month and a half ago, we found out that her cancer was growing at an alarmingly rapid rate and aggressive treatment would be necessary. She was receiving that treatment when all this happened.

When my mom went into the hospital Thursday, she just happened to have a very special houseguest--perhaps her very best friend. This friend, who my mom hadn't seen in a long time, along with my sister, were able to be with my mom in her very last moments. My sister had to make some incredibly difficult medical decisions for my mom that day, and it was an immense comfort to know that both of them weren't alone through all that.

As soon as we could, Jake and I packed up my brother and the kids and drove to Utah. While I have been incredibly busy with funeral and burial arrangements and legal matters, I have not had to fix a single meal. In fact, when we arrived at my mother's house, Yuko had prepared a delicious homemade meal for us. After she left, the doorbell rang, and another dear friend of my mom's handed me a box filled with fresh rolls, cheese, and sandwich meat, "in case we got hungry." And the meals keep on coming.

I had avoided telling Ellie about her grandma as long as possible, but by the time we drove into my mom's driveway, Ellie was really asking some questions I couldn't put off. So I told her that Grandma died. Before I could go into "do you remember what we learned at church about what happens when we die?" she started dancing around and pointing to the sky shouting, "Grandma is with Heavenly Father!" She said all this like it was the coolest thing that had ever happened. Maybe she's in denial. Maybe things will "hit" her later and we'll really have some emotions to deal with. Or maybe she gets things much better than her parents do. I don't know.

Some other dear friends of my mom's got together and purchased a wonderfully generous gift for my mom. I won't get into it what it was, but I will just say that I am still in awe of how much love they must have had for her.

In addition, numerous friends have offered help, support, and flowers, and I truly feel blessed to have so much at such a tumultuous time in my life. I believe that many of the more difficult burdens we've dealt with have become much lighter because of all the help we have received.

For those of you interested, her funeral will be on Wednesday morning in North Logan. If you would like more details, please contact me.

Now, if you will excuse me, I am headed off to bed. I am quite exhausted, and I believe I still have a lot more to do tomorrow. I will attempt a more coherent and interesting blog at a future date.

Spring!

2010-04-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

Life has been busy. The kids have been busy. Here's a synopsis of our spring thus far:

Starting the garden. I read in the newspaper several weeks ago that it was time to get peas in the ground, so that's what we did last month. The kids helped.

Jake hates this picture, but I think it's so funny. Judd decided to wear his Chef Boyardee rather than eat it. It's quite rare for this kid to decide to not eat something.

I am staunchly anti-camping. I just don't see the point. Why sleep on the ground, outside, in the middle of nowhere, when there's a perfectly good hotel up the street? You outdoor enthusiasts out there, you are seriously not going to move me on this one. It's a conclusion I've drawn after many many years of mistakenly thinking that I actually like sleeping in nature. I became very much at peace with myself when I finally realized that I was experiencing something akin to cognitive dissonance where camping is concerned. I was delighted to find out that the love of my life is also not inclined to camp.

Consequently, we do not own any camping gear. Well, except for that random tent that Jake owns for whatever reason. But it was still in a sealed box until last year when I broke it out so the kids could play in it. This year I'm working on getting emergency supplies and storage and whatnot, and I decided that we probably ought to have a few outdoor things just in case. Hence the sleeping bag. This is the Ross family's first sleeping bag. Kind of pathetic that this is the first time my almost-4-year-old daughter has ever seen a sleeping bag. She was soooo excited. "Mommy what's this? Mommy what do you do with it? Mommy can I go inside it? I can sleep in it? Can I put my head in it?" Obviously, it was a big moment for her, so I had to get a shot.

At the aquarium. We got memberships again this year after foregoing last year. We've actually used them quite a bit so far, though.

Easter. Ellie had been excited about coloring eggs for weeks. She and my brother were the artists this year.

Egg hunting. We did it indoors because the Easter Bunny didn't want to hide eggs in the cold outdoors. Yeah, our Easter Bunny doesn't go camping, either.

Finally, the classic "Judd crying again" photo. Remember Christmas? You'd think he would be excited about finding eggs all over the house. But no. Here are the things you can always count on with this kid: (1) He will try to eat all the candy at once; (2) Jake will take the candy away in an effort to interest Judd in a different activity; (3) Judd will cry and cry until you give the candy back; (4) Jake will repeat this scene with Judd at every holiday that involves candy. Oh, and Judd will NEVER take an interest in the other activity.

Happy Spring everyone!

Gentlemen Broncos (the perfect Neanderthal)

2010-03-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

My family has the perverse tradition of Neanderthalling each other. What is a Neanderthal you ask? Let me start at the beginning. My dad used to buy a book to read on the plane when he traveled for business, and I typically would read the book once he returned home. This is how I was introduced to some of my favorite authors such as Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard.

On one particular trip he brought home the book Neanderthal, by John Darton http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neanderthal_(novel). I recall asking him if it was any good and he described it as page turner with an Indiana Jones-like plot. Sucker that I am, I believed him and unfortunately once you start reading it you can't put it down. 368 pages later I was telling him what a terrible book it was and that I couldn't believe that he'd recommended it to me. My dad just laughed and said, "I know isn't it terrible?"

Well not to be outdone, I immediately convinced my sister, Paden, that she should read the book. Needless to say, she had the same reaction to the book and thus began the tradition of Neanderthalling each other. In my family Neanderthalling has spread from bogus book recommendations to music and movie recommendations. I recently Neanderthalled a co-worker (who is an animal lover) into watching Project X. He not only watched it, but he bought it new off Amazon based upon my recommendation. Fortunately he saw the humor in it, but he now takes my recommendations with a grain of salt.

When it comes to Neanderthalling, Paden is like someone who is funny but doesn't know it. Case in point, her glowing text message encouraging me to see Avatar, or as I like to refer to it as [Katie said I'm not allowed to post the rest of my thought]. I think Paden thought she was actually doing me a favor by recommending that I see James Cameron's latest ego trip. Paden, kudos to you on Neanderthalling me on that one, even if you didn't realize that you had done so.

Now to my thesis, Gentlemen Broncos is the perfect Neanderthal. Gentlemen Broncos is the movie where Jared Hess (director of Napolean Dynamite and Nacho Libre) jumped the shark. I had such high hopes going into it. It stars one of my favorite actors Jemaine Clement, and includes an excellent cast (Sam Rockwell and Jennifer Coolidge). Here's the trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdpFpfIBkXc. After watching that, tell me that you wouldn't want to see this flick. It got a 16% on Rottentomatoes and was described as "overwhelmingly quirky" http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gentlemen_broncos/, but then again, Nacho Libre only got a 39% and is without question one of my all time favorites, as evidenced by this:

Gentlemen Broncos was terrible, and not in a good way. However, as I watched it, hoping against hope that it would redeem itself in the end, I knew that it was the perfect Neanderthal. My siblings have become pretty adept at sniffing out a Neanderthal (particularly one coming from me), but I knew that this would work. All my siblings loved Napolean and Nacho, so I casually dropped an email asking if any of them had seen the new movie by the director of Napolean starring Jemaine Clement. Paden bit hook, line, and sinker--she even asked me if I was Neanderthalling her, to which I replied, no, we really liked it, noting that it had been panned by the critics just like Nacho Libre, but how could you go wrong with Jemaine Clement as a science fiction author?

So, it was much to my delight to receive the following text message from her a couple nights later, "You suck." It was even better after calling her and hearing that her mother-in-law had sat through it.

Having said that, it really isn't that bad. You should definitely check it out! And while you're at it, be sure to grab some authentic Mexican takeout from Cafe Rio.

All Kinds of Trouble

2010-03-13T14:22:00.000-08:00

Indoor Mischief

Typical day for Judd:

Homemade tatoos, courtesy Eleanor:

And one for Judd, again, courtesy Eleanor:

This guy likes to eat. A lot.

Outdoor Mischief

Sandbox fighting. Note the million toys in the sandbox. Usually, they both want to play with the same one. Go figure.

Ellie doesn't want to pedal. So Daddy is helping. His comment: "She's not very good. But we're practicing." This kid has 3 bikes and usually refuses to ride any of them. I think it's because she's, well, she's tiny. She can't reach the pedals on her Big Wheel and she can barely reach them on this thing. Grow, baby, grow!

This is also a photo of Daddy Mischief. Notice the haircut? Yeah, not very lawyer-like, don't you think? Oh well, at least there's no moustache this time.

You still look good, though, Jake!

2010-03-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

Jake tells me I need to write a book. It's title would be something like "Things Jake Has Said That I Can't Post on the Blog." It's amazing the stuff this guy will verbalize. Well, if I were ever to publish such a filthy bit of literature, I would definitely have to use this photo on the inside of the cover jacket.

He looks like a perfectly respectable kind of guy, no? Well, let me tell you what this guy said to me the other day. I had ordered some much needed maternity clothing online (I HATE shopping for maternity clothes.) and I was taking them out of their packaging and showing Jake what I had purchased. I pulled out a pair of underwear. Jake's immediate reaction: "That's . . . a lot of fabric."

It's true, I am currently larger than I have been in the past, but give me a break--I am seven months pregnant.

Yesterday, my Ellie proved to be her father's daughter and also gained some huge points in the Mommy book. We were driving to Costco, when she piped up, "Mommy, Daddy's fatter than you." It took me a moment to register what she had just said. I started to laugh. Then, she topped that comment with, "Do you know why? It's because he sticks out right here." And with that, as I glanced back at her, I saw her grab at some large imaginary love handles. I just about died laughing.

"You're funny, Ellie!" "Mom, I'm not funny, I'm smart!" Yeah, yeah, it's true.

So, do you think I spared my husband? Of course not. I HAD to tell him.

Jake, some day, when you ask her why she says the things she says, she's going to tell you, "I learned it from watching you!"

Be Mine

2010-02-17T20:12:00.000-08:00

I'm testing out our new camera. It's nothing special--just the digital version of the old point-n-shoot. The truth is, Jake and I are both not into technology, so the fewer bells and whistles, the better. So far, it looks like this camera works. My bro is a great test subject, no?

We bought the camera because our old one, a very nice Sony with the Carl Zeiss lens, finally went kaput. Well, to be honest, it's been busted for years, basically since we bought it. Now, you wonder, why on earth would we hold on to a camera that's been broken since we bought it? Because Jake broke it. We bought the camera five years ago to take on a trip to Japan. Soon after we returned, Jake broke it.

I should be completely frank, though. Jake broke it because yours truly is a total clutter-bug. Really, it's at least as much my fault as his. Jake is a much better housekeeper than I am, which is unfortunate because I'm the one whose career includes the words "stay at home" in its title. Anyway, I had the camera cord (I believe it's called a USB connector or something technological like that) attached to the computer at one end, strung across a small area, and then connected to the camera at the other end, which was resting on a desk. Basically, the cord was a clothesline, into which Jake walked. The camera came crashing down onto the hardwood floor, and it never worked right after that.

Jake would have never left a cord of any kind hanging out. Jake always puts his things away. I, on the other hand, would never have walked into the cord because I am well aware of my cluttery ways and I am very careful where and how I tread. Jake is always trying to put stuff away and I'm always getting after him to cut it out because he's ruining my system.

Jake is also a better parent than I am. Also unfortunate because, well, I am the stay-at-home parent. Need proof? Jake cleans up the barf. I don't know that I need to say more, but I will. Jake deals with Ellie's outbursts head on while I prefer to emulate our ostrich friends--hide and maybe the problem will go away. Jake actually enjoys playing with the kids, while I, on the other hand, will post a Facebook status complaining of how my daughter will not stop talking to me.

Speaking of the kids, here they are enjoying their respective Valentine treats on Sunday morning. We found hollow chocolates with gummy treats on the inside. Judd's was an apple with a gummy worm and Ellie's was a frog with a spider.

Judd attacking his apple.

Ellie displaying her more sophisticated method of getting at the gummy treat.

Valentine's Day is actually a meaningful date in the Ross family history. It happens to be the day when, six years ago, Jake proposed to me. I won't get into the details here and now--maybe in another posting. So, it's a date that holds some sentiment for us. (For an entertaining commentary on V-day, particularly for men, let me direct you to a friend's blog: http://www.fletchword.blogspot.com/)

This leads me to another, and my final point. Jake is also a better spouse than I am. Saturday, we celebrated our special day by going out to dinner. Jake surprised me, not so much by where we went to dinner, but by the fact that he was able to keep the location a secret. (Keeping secrets is also an element of our special day--again, I won't get into it here.) We had dinner at Panzano's, which is one of my favorite places. They absolutely have the BEST caesar salad ever. I highly recommend it. Dinner was delicious, of course.

So, Jake takes me to dinner, which is sweet and super awesome. I figured that was our mutual Valentine's gift and didn't think twice about it--until the next day, Valentine's Day. Jake and Ellie handed me a card and a gift, and of course, it's the sweetest card ever, and the gift is a Corinne Bailey Rae CD. And I had nothing for him.

Ladies, how often do we get one-upped in this department? Well, in this family, it happens more often than I think is normal.

So, finally, you would think that at least, maybe, Katie is a better lawyer than Jake. Then that would seem to make things a little more even. But, alas, the best I can say for myself is that despite technically being a lawyer, I have never actually practiced law, and thus we can't judge who is better at practicing law. But, let's be honest--based on college and law school performance, I think Jake still runs circles around me.

I hope that Jake's knowing that I know what a great husband, father, housekeeper, and provider he is makes up, in part, for my shortcomings.

Happy Valentine's Day (late)

Engineer or Architect?

2010-01-08T20:42:00.000-08:00

As I was looking for photos for a different posting, I came across some gems that I always meant to post but never did. Let me tell you a story.

One day in October, as I was sitting on my couch and trying not to move (bad day--not feeling too hot), Ellie approached me, asking if she could have some of that candy I had stashed on the top of her dresser. I had put it there to keep her from eating it, mind you. Now, you have to know my daughter. She has the gift of timing. I really really didn't want to move and I really didn't want to be pestered about that stupid candy in her room. So I told her to figure it out all by herself. After a moment or so, Miss Ellie disappeared and I was relieved.

A few minutes later, I heard some loud banging coming from upstairs. My thought process: I don't hear crying; Judd is with me; there is still movement up there; therefore, no one is hurt and I'm still not moving. About a half hour later, Ellie emerged and announced that she had gotten the candy she desired, all by herself. I congratulated her (admittedly half-heartedly) and didn't think anything of it. I did mention the loud noises to Jake when he got home from work, though.

Later, when Jake headed upstairs to bathe the kids, he yelled for me to come upstairs ASAP, with a camera. Here is what we discovered:

As you can see, in the background, there isn't a bin left in her little shelving unit, and there is also evidence of previous attempts. What do you say to this?

Oh, and by the way, in case you're wondering about the now deleted list of good eats in Denver, I moved it to my other website: www.foodkuu.blogspot.com. It's a food blog. Check it out.

Catch-up

2010-01-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

This year, Thanksgiving was at our house, with my side of the family. My sister and her kids and my mom and my brother drove from Cache Valley for the weekend. It was kinda fun. I made the turkey and accompaniments and my sister made the dessert. Wondering what my mom did? Well, I'll tell you about Thanksgiving with my mom. She doesn't really care so much to get involved, except for the eating part. I don't think I've ever seen her prepare a turkey. She says it's because she's Japanese and Thanksgiving with turkey is an American thing. Sheesh! That's fine with me, though. I'm a little bit territorial with my kitchen. Just ask Jake.

There was a little bit of drama for a moment there when Ellie and Erika wanted the same pink lunch tray. My mistake--I was under the impression that purple was still Erika's fave as a far as colors go, but Jessica informed me (too late) that currently, it's pink. Oops. Ellie ended up with the pink tray and Erika had a very disappointing Thanksgiving lunch on a purple tray. The boys, as you can see, are completely indifferent.

This is the crew. There are better shots of this, but I chose the one that showcased: (a) my brother's true nature; (b) my son's gut; and (c) Ellie's attitude about Grandma and cousins leaving that morning. She was not happy.

Oh, Christmas! Here is the scene at our house, Christmas morning. Happy, happy 3-year-old. Judd didn't quite get it. Ellie was pretty sure that most of the gifts were for her.

Judd, on the other hand, discovered that there was candy in his stocking and that was all he cared about. Here he is, quite peeved that we took the candy away. In our defense, we thought he might concentrate on opening presents a bit better if the candy was gone. Have I ever mentioned how persistent my children are? Yeah. Judd cried all morning. (He also cries like this whenever I wash his favorite blankets. He stands by the washing machine and sobs.)

Ellie with her new baby, at Jake's parents' house. She and her grandfather decided to name it Baby Huey. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

My Man

2009-11-13T13:25:00.000-08:00

I just came upon this today.

Is there any question as to why I am married to this man?

Spooks and Ghouls

2009-11-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

Halloween. Costumes. Candy. Personality changes. (Direct result of the candy.) Tantrums. What's not to love?

Oh, and of course, my husband's annual embarrassing costume choice, which, inevitably involves some form of disgusting facial hair. Who would have thought Jake would be such a Halloween afficionado?

Here's the scene just a few days before Halloween. Crazy Denver weather. It snowed another foot and a half after I snapped this photo. Thank goodness for all-wheel-drive is all I can say. Judd had no clue as to what to do with all this snow. He had never really seen it before. This is what happened as soon as I opened the garage door: both kids took off running into the accumulating snow and within a few feet fell flat on their faces. Judd was quite stunned. Ellie, being more experienced in snow, got up and kept on truckin'. Judd made a beeline for the icy puddle at the bottom of the driveway, fell in, and decided he was done.

Ellie decided on Halloween that she was going to be Princess Minnie. Up to that point, I thought she was going to be a Cinderella princess or something like that. Ellie has many princess options. Oh, and by the way, I want you all to know that Jake calls Ellie his little princess. I once heard that one of the cardinal rules of dating for dudes is to never date a chick whose father calls her "princess." Not sure if Jake is sabotaging her on purpose. . .

By the time I remembered to snap a photo of Judd in his Judd-zilla costume, it was after we had trick-or-treated and he was well beyond being able to keep it together. This is the best I could do. (Costume is homemade.) Jake claims this photo is great because this is "classic Judd."

Here is another attempt.

Yes, I am aware that there is something strange growing on Jake's face. I didn't get a photo, but this is the remnant of Jake's Halloween costume. Walker Texas Ranger. He went all the way costume-wise with this one. What he really wanted was Walker Texas Ranger running a marathon, but I nixed that one as just too random. Of course, after he was done with the costume, he had to shave the beard into something that I would totally object to, and this year tops off all other years. I have no idea what this is supposed to be, but it utterly offends me.

Then, Jake makes this commentary: "Do you think there are styles that are just so ruined by certain people that they will never come back into style?"

Me: "Huh?"

Jake: "Well, I'm just wondering when the Hitler is going to come back."

Happy Halloween Y'all!

Disaster

2009-10-02T12:23:00.000-07:00

The first time they did this, I laughed and then cleaned it up.

Only a few minutes later, they did this.

This was the last straw for me, when they made almost the exact same mess as the first.

Does anyone want extra kids? I've got two...

On a lighter note, it snowed not too long ago, and I bundled the kids up to run some errands. I was surprised at how excited Judd was to wear new duds and then how happy he was to have his picture taken. I think he might be a little metro. He gets it from his dad.

On a final note, there is one more photo that I am itching to post but Jake has told me that I just absolutely can't. He says it is embarrassing and damaging to our son. I think it's funny and cute. If you want to see it, harrass Jake.

Of Clouds and Billiards

2009-08-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

My mom likes to play this game with Ellie where they look at the clouds and tell each other what the shapes are. Elephants, ice cream cones, cars, you name it.

In the last few days, Ellie has adapted the game into other spheres. The one with which I'm not sure what to do, is the poop. It's the cloud game, but with poop. The other day, she called from the bathroom, "Mommy! I made a water bottle poopoo! Come see!" Yesterday, she surprised me with this query, "What shape does your poopoo look like, mommy?" (I will note here for you readers, that like all other women in this world, I do not "go poopoo." Not ever. No gas, either.)

So far, I just play along. "Nice poopoo! Now flush, wash your hands, and tell your daddy exactly what you just told me."

Since I've already ruined your day with this topic, I'm just going to run with it. Ellie also calls her poop like a professional billiards player. You know, like when they say, "5 ball in the corner pocket," or something like that? When Ellie goes in for a number 2, she likes to tell you exactly what she's going to produce. As in, "it's going go be two big ones," or "this time, it's going to be one big one, then two little ones," or my favorite, the triple combo, "it's going to be a big one, then a little one, then another big one." Sometimes she loses track and has me check to see where she's at in her sequence. Is that weird?

Please, don't answer that.

What a Feelin'!

2009-08-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

Ellie had her first ballet lesson yesterday. She's already showing considerable promise. I would tell you more about it, but Ellie has decided that she won't tell anyone about her ballet lesson. That means that I only know what little I saw. You'll just have to aske Ellie about it and see if she tells you.

On the Road

2009-08-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

We finally did it. After calculating and comparing the costs of traveling to Utah, we decided to try driving. (Usually we fly, but after considering the cost of 3 plane tickets, 1 car rental, 2 car seat rentals, and airport hassle, we were game for something different.) For the first time, with the kids. From Denver to Logan, it's about a 9 hour drive if you go nonstop. There is no nonstop with a toddler and a baby.

We heard that portable DVD players were the way to go. So we borrowed one. Ellie wasn't interested in it after, oh, about 30 minutes. As I've mentioned in an earlier blog, Ellie has the gift of gab. Imagine a 10-hour drive with non-stop toddler banter.

I had been really looking forward to spending some time in the mountains. In Cache Valley, you are never more than a 10-minute drive from a hiking trail. That is something I truly miss living in the 'burbs. I found myself telling Jake all about the hiking that was always in my back yard when I was growing up.

Our first mountain jaunt was the River Trail. Too bad it was 95 degrees!

My niece, Erika, invited us to her 7th birthday party. I can't believe Erika is 7. I was in the delivery room with her parents when she was born, so she has always been special to me. Here is the precocious 7-year-old.

And her 5-year-old brother, Kalvin, for good measure.

In my last posting, I mentioned that I'm not the kind of mom who bakes cupcakes and then hand-decorates each one for her kid's birthday party. Well, my sister is that kind of mom. Here is her handiwork.

I must mention here that all the kids, except for Ellie, took turns being sick while we were there. That is why in some pictures you will notice that not all the kids are present.

We went to Bear Lake. Jake had never been there, and I didn't realize until we got there that Jake was expecting a stagnant little mountain pond. Any of you who have been there know that that certainly is not the case. I think Jake was pleasantly surprised. Kalvin was sick for this outing.

We had to get burgers and raspberry shakes at LaBeau's, of course. I have to admit, while the raspberry shake was excellent, the hamburgers weren't impressive at all. (I think the LaBeau's in Logan still makes decent burgers, though.) While we were waiting for our lunch, Erika expressed a desire to "hold the baby." The "baby" happens to be about 2/3 her height and about 3/4 her weight. I don't think Judd understood that he was being held.

Ellie was fearless in the water. We had to keep a sharp eye on her because she kept running farther out into the water. Judd, on the other hand, cried when I put him in the water. He got over it quickly, though. (Some of you know my serious aversion to natural bodies of water, and I know you are thinking I'm a total hypocrite for sending my own children into a lake. To that, I can only say, you are totally right.)

Our final excursion on our trip was the Wind Caves hike in Logan Canyon. I have done this hike a number of times, but the last time I hiked it may have been about 10 years ago. We took Ellie with us. Judd was sick for this one. This was lucky for Ellie, because Jake ended up having to carry her most of the way. Thank goodness for the Kelty.

In the cave--Ellie was truly disappointed because there were no flowers or bats in the caves. She thought the hike was a total and utter bust.

Gorgeous views.
Thanks Mom, Maki, Jessica, Erika, and Kalvin for a fun vacation!

My Guy

2009-08-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

Time flies. My baby is a year old. My little guy is now nearly three times his birth weight. (Can you believe I gave birth to an 8 lb. 2 oz. baby? If you know how big Jake and I are, you know this is kind of remarkable. Ellie was 7 lb. 8 oz. I am slightly fearful of how large any future children may be.)

I know that as his mother, I'm obviously biased, but I'm still going to say that as a newborn, Judd was a beautiful baby. As a toddler, Judd is still a beautiful baby. Even with his crazy hair.

Judd's first birthday was in June, and I realize that it is now August. I would like to say that this is what happens with your second child, but the truth is, I was never on the ball with my firstborn, either. Another truth is, I think I'm just not the kind of mom who bakes cupcakes and hand-decorates them for birthday parties. But, I am the kind of mom who will buy the most awesomest delicious bundt cake for her kid and his party guests. (Nothing Bundt Cakes on County Line and Quebec, by Chuck-e-Cheese. They have samples.)

Unfortunately, Judd does not like cake or cake-like foods. This includes bread. Every week at church, he spits out the sacrament in total disgust. As you can see, my son was less than thrilled at his birthday fare.

But he made the best of it, as always, and made a total mess of himself.

Judd and Ellie enjoyed opening presents. These are still their favorite. If you are wondering what on earth Ellie is wearing and why, I can't help you because I am too.

Judd's 1-year-old skill:

1. Jumping, though he has mastered crawling and walking along furniture, jumping is a skill for which he has shown remarkable talent.

Yum...pizza!

2009-06-23T20:24:00.000-07:00

I don't love pizza. I avoid ordering it as much as possible. So, when Jake took us to lunch at Marco's Coal Fired Pizza a few weeks ago, I wasn't thrilled. This joint is downtown on Larimer, between 21st and 22nd. Boy was I in for an awesome treat.

I ordered their lunch special, which was a salad, beverage, and pizza. It cost about $9. Jake ordered the chicken wings appetizer and the Brooklyn pizza.

My lunch special could have easily fed 2 people. The salad had tomatoes and fresh mozarella--very nice. My pizza (remember I don't like pizza) was wonderful. It was a Margherita--tomatoes, basil, and fresh mozarella. The crust was perfect and the toppings were very fresh. I had one of the coal-fired chicken wings--lemon and herb flavored. Delicious. Unfortunately, the Brooklyn pizza had mushrooms on it.

The food was delicious. The portions were generous--each pizza could easily feed 2 people. Jake's could have fed 3. The cost was quite reasonable--the range for pizzas was $9 to $17.

Another highlight was that the owner gave the kids a ball of pizza dough to play with while our food was cooking. They loved that.

If you find that you like pizza, and you also find that you are downtown, and you also find that you are hungry, definitely eat here. Check out their website: www.marcoscoalfiredpizza.com

Trouble

2009-06-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ellie and Maki enjoying quality cable programming.

Ellie and her buddy Gunnar in Mickey ears. This one, I didn't really understand, but as Gunnar explained it, they are Princess Minnie and Superman Mickey. ("Pwintheth Minnie and Thupewman Mickey.")

This is why these two can't be left unsupervised for any amount of time.

Ellie is 3...and so is Daddy!

2009-06-23T19:30:00.001-07:00

No, I'm not making fun of Jake's maturity. Ellie turned three, and Jake turned thirty-three.

Ellie wanted a PINK cake. So, she got a very pink cake.

Jake's on a diet, so he got a little cake.

3 Ellie Accomplishments:

1. Ellie is potty trained! Hooray!

2. Ellie knows the alphabet, can identify all the letters, and knows what sound they make.

3. Ellie can talk non-stop in the car, no matter the distance. She doesn't stop talking the whole time--not even if you ask her to, not even if you bribe her.

Judd Eats Crud

2009-06-23T19:26:00.001-07:00

This is Judd...

...eating crud.

Dithneyland!

2009-06-23T19:10:00.001-07:00

If you know how our spring season has gone down this year, you know that a pick-me-up was in order. Good thing we had planned to go to Disneyland! We spent 6 days in Anaheim, 4 of those at Disneyland resort, the other two spent traveling and visiting Little Tokyo.

4 days at Disneyland is a lot of time spent there.

Climbing around at ToonTown.

Ellie had been looking for Minnie for a long time.

Judd likes hats.

Ellie loves Mickey.

Other highlights:

1. Ellie won a screaming contest at the Monsters, Inc. ride.

2. We ate at an upscale restaurant one night and Judd screamed the whole time we were there. He wasn't mad, I just wasn't feeding him fast enough.

3. Jake and I don't do Teacups--motion sickness issues. Jake was the unlucky one who had to ride them with Ellie. I noticed that his and Ellie's teacup was the only one that wasn't spinning.
4. The ladybug ride at California Adventure is the same as the Teacup ride.

5. Shooting is fun. (Just ask Ellie.)

Dork Gear

2009-05-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

I just needed to get this off my chest.

Bluetooth is dorky. I am referring, most particularly, to the headset. I don't care who you are. If you're walking around with a Star Trek-reminiscent device permanently attached to your ear, you are a HUGE dork. Plus you look like a crazy person talking to yourself when you are actually talking on the phone. Why do you need to wear a phone all the time? I don't get it.

What is the difference between the teenager who can't seem to stop texting and the adult who has to wear a phone in his or her ear all the time? I won't answer here. I'm sure there are a milion clever answers out there. Care to contribute?

Please, for my sake, just say NO to Bluetooth headset. Or, at least, take it out of your ear when you are doing any of the following things:

1. Spending quality time with your family

2. Shopping. Anywhere. Anytime.

4. Not in the privacy of your home, office, etc.

3. NOT TALKING ON THE PHONE.

Thank you.

Bliss

2009-05-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

My good friend recently celebrated her tenth wedding anniversary and posted on her blog her ten favorite memories during her marriage. Taking her cue, I will now present a list of 5 of my favorite things Jake has said during our marriage. Today is our 5th wedding anniversary.

This is just what is publishable. Here goes:

1. Wow, your jeans have gotten really tight in the butt. . . I guess that's one great side effect of having had two kids, huh?

2. If it's funny, it's ok. (The Rosses know what this means.)

3. Stop eating! (OK, so this is really me. I say this any time we share a dessert. Actually, we don't share desserts any more.)

4. Wow, we've been married ___ number of years. It feels like so much longer.

5. You did get kind of big. . . .(In reference to my first pregnancy.)

We have had 5 fun, funny, and eventful years.

Happy anniversary Jake! I love you!

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

2009-03-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

Once there was a snowman, snowman, snowman
Once there was a snowman, tall tall tall!
In the sun he melted, melted, melted
In the sun he melted, small small small!

"A thnowman with a cawot nose, Mommy. . . he has a wake!" This is what Jake and Ellie did to pass the time between busy Saturday activities. Ellie is waiting for it to turn into a puddle, which will probably happen tomorrow. Crazy Denver weather!

BTW, Monsters v. Aliens in 3D is worth seeing.

Home Brew

2009-03-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

I received the March Martha Stewart magazine about a month ago. It featured recipes for corned beef and cabbage and Irish soda bread. I thought, I'm Irish, I should make an Irish meal for St. Patrick's Day.

Well, I am part Irish--I was a Murphy before I was a Ross. So we had corned beef with cabbage and Irish soda bread for dinner tonight. I'm sure you're wondering what is blog-worthy about such a dinner. After all, you need only throw the corned beef in a crock pot and buy a loaf of good soda bread. Ha ha. Remember that part in the previous paragraph where I was reading the Martha Stewart magazine? Yeah. Crock pot? Fat chance. Crock pot occurred to me only after I had been boiling the corned beef on the stove for over an hour. And, might I add, this was a 5-lb. corned beef brisket that I had cured myself.

That's right. I cured it myself.

I started having second thoughts about the home-curing only after I had put the brisket in the curing solution (two weeks ago). It was only then that it occurred to me that I have never actually liked a single Martha Stewart recipe that I had tried. The curing solution smelled suspiciously like cinnamon. That was the only odor emanating from the brine. That was scary to me. (FYI, we Japanese don't usually dig on cinnamon in general.)

I was very skeptical. Then things got even scarier. Jake is very confident of my culinary skills. He invited his parents, two sisters, and brother-in-law to share in the Irish feast. That is fine, except that I have never made corned beef before, let alone having cured my own meat. I was really just hoping to not poison anyone.

Fortunately, things turned out fine. Corned beef tasted like corned beef. Cabbage tasted like cabbage. Irish soda bread tasted like Irish soda bread (actually, I can't really say this honestly because I don't really know what Irish soda bread tastes like).

Ellie was very helpful. She set the table all by herself. Amazing, I know, considering that she is still 2 years old. Here is her handiwork:

Then she got creative with the tuna. Imagine this on a larger scale, and you can imagine the state of my entire house on any given day.

She really thought she was doing me a favor, bless her heart.

Oh, yeah. She would also like you to know that she poopooed in the potty today and so she got some new Littlest Pet Shop bunnies. We're all quite pleased with her.

All in all, it was a pretty good St. Partick's Day. Don't hate me because I'm Irish.

Don't Eat Here, Eat Here

2009-03-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

Friday night was one of those tired evenings where I wasn't going to make dinner, Jake just doesn't make dinner, and, well, yours truly doesn't eat pizza as a general rule. (I do sometimes, but it's a very rare occasion.) So Jake and I, grumpy as you might suspect, went out in search of something to eat. After much debate, we wearily settled on Jasmine, which is a Chinese restaurant in Lone Tree that we often go to when we don't feel like driving downtown and/or spend very much money.

BIG MISTAKE.

But how were we to know that in the few months we hadn't frequented the place it would have taken a happy little nosedive into to realms of the UNIDENTIFIABLE ASIAN-ISH genre? My instinct was to turn around and head for the closest burger joint when I noticed the main sign had been changed to include the words "Asian cuisine" and another computer-printed sign in the window advertised the "grand open" of the sushi bar.

But we doggedly entered the establishment anyway because we hadn't had a problem in the past. As we walked in, I attempted to ignore that sure enough, Jasmine had built a sushi bar within their restaurant. I was also quite annoyed to find that the menu now included Thai selections as well as Japanese dishes. Actually, let's call them "Japanese" dishes. OK--so NOT even similar regions of the VAST continent of Asia, all on the same menu, and not even claiming to be fusion or something ultra modern like that.

We still didn't run, and we really should have.

I'll try not to bore you with the details, so here's a quick synopsis. First and foremost, someone put mushrooms in the kung pao chicken. No, more like "kung pao chicken." The dish came out and both of us leaned in to get a closer look at the mess--but the waitress declared that it was indeed kung pao chicken. I ordered the Singapore noodles. Basically, this is their version of Singapore noodles: dump rice noodles in pan, dump other stuff in pan, and finally, dump in a pile of curry powder and no other seasonings. Stir. That's it. Big sigh here.

Did I mention that I hate bad food?

But I love good food--pretty much up there with how much I love my husband and children. So I think it's fitting that my most beloved husband took me to my favorite restaurant in town on the anniversary of his proposal to me five years ago. That is to say, on Valentine's Day.

We went to Sushi Sasa and I am telling you unequivocally that Chef Wayne Conwell is a genius. He had a special menu for Valentine's day--an 8-course treat:

Duo of Oysters: Japanese Peruvian Ceviche & Ume Kombu Ponzu

Japanese Bruschetta: Hamachi tartare, ankimo and foie gras pate, etc.

Yellowtail & Roasted Beet Salad

Japanese Bluefin Carpaccio

Pinkberry Frozen Yogurt Float

Colorado Lamb Chop, Broiled Black Cod, and Seared Scallop

Premium Nigiri Selection: Salmon, O-toro, Anago, Madai

Chocolate Cake

Everything that could be served raw on this menu that didn't indicate otherwise was. It was wonderful! My one complaint is that someone put mushrooms (shiitake, to be exact) in my carpaccio, but even that was forgivable.

It was a perfect evening--a perfect reminder of all the things I love in life. (My husband, my family, and good food.)

Poop Stinks

2009-02-05T21:35:00.001-08:00

We didn't go to the park today. It was a gorgeous, warm day. We didn't need jackets. The kids were in t-shirts--no layers. We didn't go to the park.

This time, it wasn't because I was too lazy or too tired to go. This time, it was because of a tantrum. It was a tantrum like none I have ever seen before. It wasn't the magnitude of the tantrum that amazed me, but the subject matter:

"Mommy put the poopoo back in my butt!"

How do you even begin to reason with that? Here's what happened. We were getting ready to leave for the park when Ellie sauntered into the kitchen and announced that she poopooed. I asked here where. She said in her pants.

Ellie and I have a deal. When she is properly potty trained, she gets to have a party at Chuckie Cheese (bad, I know!) with her friends. Today, I informed her that she also has to make a poopoo in the potty in order to get her party.

Apparently, she got super motivated at that point and decided that she needed to make a poopoo in the potty right then and there. She told me to put the poopoo back in her butt so she could put it in the potty herself. I told her I really couldn't do that, especially since I had just flushed it down the toilet.

We didn't go to the park today.

Did I mention that she was having her tantrum sans clothing below the waist? About 3/4 of the way through, she demanded pants--I think it might have gotten a little bit cold and uncomfortable.

Other poop-related issues:

1. Why does one of my kids always poop just as we're heading out the door?

2. Why does Ellie want to look at poop--especially her own, but not limited to her own?

3. I think my son poops out more than he eats. That bothers me a little bit.

4. I have become indifferent to poop at the same time that I have really really come to hate it. In other words, I don't freak out any more when I inadvertently touch the poop, but I still resent it.

5. Jake still holds his breath when he changes the kids' diapers, but not so much when he takes out the trash.

Of Mice and Men

2009-01-07T19:27:00.000-08:00

I was browsing the photos on my computer and came across some choice pics of my brother. I was also thinking about New Year's resolutions and thought about how a year ago, Maki was living with us here in Denver. I also remembered something that occurred to me shortly after Jake and I got married: Maki and Jake have a lot in common. (Just so you know, Maki is a 35-year-old man with Down Syndrome and Jake is my attorney-husband.)

Neither of them can ever find anything. If you send Maki into a room that only has one item, he will not be able to find that item. Jake is pretty much the same. When we were first married and living in different states, he would often call me asking where various items were, such as spaghetti sauce, chicken, and forks, to name a few. Mind you, it was a one-bedroom apartment that I only lived in every other weekend. I recall actually walking Jake through the apartment over the phone to find these items.

Here's another one. They both love music and they both love to sing. One of them is completely tone deaf and the other is only slightly better. I won't tell you which is which. Here's Jake rockin' out in Tokyo.
Here is Maki rockin' out on stage. He is also an incredible dancer. Backstreet Boys have nothing on my brother.

They both make me laugh. Good thing I have a sense of humor. Since my birthday last month, I keep thinking of a date Jake and I went on when we were in law school. Here's how the conversation went:

Jake: You're the oldest girl that I've ever gone out with.

Me: Uh....I'm younger than you are.

Jake: Yeah, but you're still kind of old for me.

After 4 1/2 years of marriage, the comedy has not died.

My brother is just as graceful. When I was in college and sporting half blonde-half brunette hair, he called me a skunk. When I was single, his favorite thing to do was ask about former boyfriends in front of my new boyfriend. Also, you should ask Jake about the first time he stayed at my parents' house before we were married. It involves a shower and an event that I will always deny happened.

I came across this picture and nearly fell over laughing. This is Maki with chocolate fondue all over his face and a Curious George bandaid on his hand. My sister had given me a fondue set for my birthday and we were trying it out. Maki got a little bit overzealous, and in his attempt to stab a strawberry onto the metal skewer, he stabbed right through the strawberry and skewered his palm. After we cleaned him up and bandaged his hand, this is what he had to say:

"I'm Jesus. See, my hand!"

Thanks, guys, for making me laugh!

On Partridges and Pear Trees

2008-12-24T22:12:00.000-08:00

In a previous posting, I think I mentioned being a bit irked at the crazy commercial-ness of Christmas in Japan. I tend to make a point of having our Christmas cards say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays." (I've told Jake on occasion that P.C. is for...uh...wimps.) I suppose that my point is that I don't know about everyone else, but I'm celebrating Christmas, which is to say, I am celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

To really get to the point, I'm trying to say that since my last million blogs have been the 12 blogs of Christmas, at least one of them ought to be about Jesus Christ, right? Well, here goes:

A couple of years ago, my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The news was a major shock to the whole family because less than a year previous, we had been assured that her cancer was in remission and that all her surgeries and subsequent treatments had been successful. I prayed and pleaded with God to make her well, to give us a miracle, or let this news be a mistake. With each test and doctor visit, however, the news became more and more grim. The average survival for what my mom had was only six months. If she underwent more chemotherapy, she might survive from six months to maybe two years.

Eventually, my pleading for a miracle to make my mom well turned into requests for help in setting her affairs in order. We had to sell her house, finalize her divorce, and finally, find adequate health insurance to cover her treatment in Colorado. All three were daunting tasks, and none of them was smooth sailing. The house sale hit every snag imaginable, her divorce turned ugly, and it seemed that no matter where I turned, I couldn't find the information I needed for the health insurance. Sometime during this tumultuous period, Jake and I were asked to give talks in sacrament meeting. The topic: The Power of Patience. Oh, the irony. I don't know if Cliff Eley knew what was going on with us when he assigned the topic, but the timing couldn't have been better.

About seven months later, within about a week's time, the house sale closed, the judge signed the divorce decree, and my mom's new insurance card arrived in the mail. I took a breath of relief and immediately turned my thoughts toward figuring out funeral costs, cemetery plots, and hospice care. It was at that time that my sister came for a visit and I had her take our mom to her chemotherapy. I just needed a break. When they returned, my sister explained to me that the doctor had reviewed all of Mom's latest lab work, x-rays, and such and found that he could find no trace of her cancer. Mom was quickly planning how she was going to get off all of her medications and return to a normal life. I think that at the time, I congratulated her and didn't say or think much else.

As I was returning from dropping my sister off at the airport, it struck me that my mom had survived. It took another month or so to realize also that I had gotten everything for which I had asked. I had received the miracle for which I had pleaded several months before, not to mention all the help along the way to accomplish my list of 3.

Maybe this story doesn't convince you, the reader, of the existence of God or Jesus Christ, but for me, it was an affirmation that Heavenly Father not only exists, but listens and loves us. He sent his Son to ensure that we would have a way to return to Him. Jesus Christ came to Earth as an infant, grew up just like you and me, and then paved the way for us to return home someday. This is why I'm celebrating Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

2

2008-12-23T22:26:00.000-08:00

I took Ellie to The Nutcracker today. I blogged about her first ballet experience a couple of months ago. Today was not unlike that experience. Here are the highlights:

1. Matinee performance starts at 1:00 pm, the same time as her nap.

2. Ellie had already filled up on candy by the time the performance began. Two words: behavioral problems

3. The Colorado Ballet's performance was excellent.

4. Ellie decided that all the little girls in the first act were princesses and let everyone know that's what they were. ("Mommy, anothew pwintheth!")

5. Ellie disapproved of the mice and didn't conceal that disapproval.

6. Ellie liked the Chinese dragon. "It's a dwagon, Mommy! It's the Shwek dwagon!"

7. When the performance was just not doing it for her, Ellie pretended to eat candy, offering pretend candy to her Aunt Hannah and me.

8. Spending time with my baby girl and showing her something she's never seen before.

9. Starting a new tradition. (Well, maybe not so new. I dragged Jake to see The Nutcracker in previous years. I just changed dates, I guess. Jake confided, though, that he was disappointed to miss this year's performance. For real.)

3

2008-12-22T19:20:00.000-08:00

There is nothing so romantic as purchasing a nice, non-cheap item that you need, like a pair of boots, and your husband saying something like, "Um, can this be your Christmas present?" When asked that particular question, the answer is always NO. I have a new strategy--purchasing what I need to purchase, and then stating firmly, "This is my Christmas gift."

So far this year, I haven't made the purchase. I made a certain purchase at a certain Coach store for my birthday ("This is my birthday present.") and I'm actually thinking that might be good enough. But you never know...

This morning as I was preparing breakfast for Ellie and me, I realized, to my horror, that the dishwasher had stopped working. Honestly, it was more like the @#$%&* dishwasher flat out @#$%&* busted. I even kicked it to make sure it was dead. Dead dead dead.

I guess we're getting a dishwasher for Christmas.

NO, this can't be my Christmas present.

4

2008-12-21T21:43:00.001-08:00

Santa Claus: Ellie Part II, Judd Part I

"Santa, I want a candy cane."

"Santa, I will take your beard."

I think this was the real Santa because he was so nice.

5

2008-12-20T16:52:00.000-08:00

"Honey, I....uh...we just bought a house and I need you to sign the closing documents. I just sent you the PDF..."

"Uh...what?"

"Uh...Merry Christmas?"

You might be wondering how Jake managed to purchase a house without my input or participation. We were living in different states at the time--I was still at BYU and Jake had a job in Albuquerque. I finished my exams, flew back to Albuquerque, and saw our first house for the very first time after Jake bought it. I believe we moved into the house a few days thereafter.

My first impression of the house was: "We paid how much for this house?" Actually, it was more like, "This is the house we bought?" The house was over fifty years old and definitely a fixer-upper. I was adamant that Jake had agreed to pay too much for it. He kept assuring me we were paying for the neighborhood--that the value of these particular houses was rising at an amazing rate. I was not convinced . . . that is, until we sold it. HUGE return. We didn't even have to put the house on the market. It kind of sold itself.

Jake has proved that he can make real estate decisions for our family, thus he is allowed to. (As opposed to, say, decisions regarding lawnmowers and other machinery--but this is a blog for another date.)

Merry Christmas!

6

2008-12-19T09:00:00.000-08:00

White, fluffy clouds of sugar and meringue. It's an old school candy and you rarely see it these days. I think you have to be over 60 years old to even know what divinity is.

My Grandma Murphy passed away in June of 2002. She lived in my parents' home for the nine or so months before her death, and so did I. I was incredibly fortunate to have spent that last Christmas with her for many reasons, but the one thing for which I will be eternally grateful is that she taught me her fine art of divinity-making.

Grandma Murphy's divinity was famous. There is actually a Judd family secret recipe. (Judd was Grandma Murphy's maiden name.) Great Grandma Judd passed it on to Grandma Murphy, and then she taught me how to make it. Unfortunately for you, the reader, I am not yet ready to give up the secret.

Another thing for which Grandma Murphy was known was her sense of humor. That Christmas in 2001, we scorched the first batch of divinity. Well, scorched divinity doesn't necessarily look burned. It looked beautiful, but tasted like rubber. While we were mulling over what we had done wrong with that batch, Grandpa Murphy walked into the kitchen. Grandma and I looked at each other and Grandma offered Grandpa one of the fluffy white candies. Grandpa's eyes lit up, and I had to turn away to keep from laughing out loud. One bite of the candy, and Grandpa let out a fine stream of old-fashioned cursing as he frantically spit it out into the garbage can. Grandma and I were both laughing hysterically, but Grandma paused long enough to say, "Murphy! Watch your language!" with a straight face.

Grandma didn't leave much behind when she died, and anything she may have left was certainly not left to me. I don't think any of the other grandkids (or maybe even her own kids) got the benefit of a divinity-making lesson, though, and I believe I received a priceless gift that year. Now Jake and I make it each year for Christmas and I remember my Grandma Murphy each time.

Thank you Grandma! Merry Christmas!

We Interrupt Our Scheduled Programming to Bring You...

2008-12-18T21:08:00.000-08:00

For some of us, the sound of silence is the sure sign that something unholy is going on with our children. At my house, it's Ellie's "look what I did, Mommy!"

When I finally paid attention to what Ellie was screaming, I had to see what she had done. "Mommy! Judd's a witch! A witch!" Judd didn't seem to mind being a witch.

Later, I just happened to stumble upon this.

Other things I have encountered lately: Ellie rolling Judd around on the floor, Ellie putting stuff in Judd's mouth, Ellie dragging Judd across the floor, and Ellie pretending to be Superman flying through the air while balanced on Judd's tummy. Judd doesn't seem to mind.

7

2008-12-16T21:17:00.001-08:00

This is how Jake gets his Christmas on.

8

2008-12-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

I'm not certain, but I think Santa said "No."

9

2008-12-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

Before Jake and I were engaged, we went on a date that included seeing the Christmas lights at Temple Square. We had dinner at a great Thai place in Salt Lake City (Monsoon) and then headed downtown to walk around. It was a very romantic evening and we just talked and enjoyed each other's company.

At one point, we crossed a little bridge and stopped midway. I was taking in the scenery and I noticed that Jake was not looking at the sights, but at me. When I turned to look at him, this is what he said:

"You're a lot more attractive than I initially thought you were."

"You didn't find me attractive before?"

"No, not really."

If you are thinking, "what the...?" well, so did I.

Merry Christmas!

10

2008-12-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

Eight years ago, I was living and working in Japan. I decided to save money and not travel during the holidays. My Japanese Christmas was an interesting experience.

Since Japan is not a Christian-based country, Christmas is not an official holiday. I worked a full day on the 24th and then had Christmas Day off only because it fell on a Saturday. Many businesses had Christmas trees and lights set up, and many also were selling Christmas merchandise, but the approach was distinctly different from my experience here in the U.S. (If you think Christmas is a totally commercial affair here, you really should see what it is in Japan. It will probably make you sick.) Just like here, there were many Christmas specials on TV, but again, with a distinctive twist...no, let's call it an outright WARP on what I consider to be the original in this country. This is what I wish to tell you about today.

Spending Christmas Eve and Day alone, I had decided to treat myself and had a decadent dinner of seafood and other luxuries at home, in front of my TV. I cranked the little heater to blast as high as it could, covered my legs in blankets, and turned on another space heater. My apartment in Gifu was built right after the war (that's my estimate, anyway), was not insulated, had no central heating system, and the wind would blow through the apartment because the windows weren't really sealed. Since I was splurging, I took all measured to get comfy.

Then I turned on the TV. I'm sure that I had rented a stack of videos (past seasons of X-files and Ally McBeal), but I am a huge fan of Japanese TV. Entertainment to the utmost level, y'all. I settled on a Christmas special featuring the biggest pop stars in the country singing Christmas carols. My two favorite were:

1. An oversized girl group called "Morning Musume" singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" in English. For you non-Japanese speakers out there, the hard "y" sound us a bit tricky for the native Japanese speaker. Here's how the song went: "We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Ear! And a Happy New Ear! New Ear!" They kept singing "New Ear" over and over again. My ears were overjoyed with the unintended comedy. Thank you Morning Musume.

2. A very popular pop singer, singing in what appeared to be a chapel with a gospel choir as back-up. And not just any old gospel choir, a very distinctly Southern Baptist-looking choir. The music started, slowly--organ music. Very fitting for the scene and I was pleasantly surprised to see a religious take on this program. Then the pop singer started in--a lively rendition, in English, of "Jingle Bell Rock." I'm sure my neighbors thought the American in A405 had gone nuts. I was laughing uncontrollably.

Even though I was on my own that year, it remains one of my favorite Christmases. It was most certainly a different take on the holiday. Merry Christmas and Happy New Ear!

11

2008-12-12T19:05:00.000-08:00

What is the appropriate response to a gift you instantly dislike? If you are like my mom, no matter how thoughtful or expensive, you will act graciously after opening the present and immediately return or exchange said gift the next day. What were we thinking buying that Donna Karan suit for her, when we knew she would just take it back to Nordstrom's and exchange it for sheets and Christmas ornaments that were on clearance?

I guess my mom rubbed off on me a little bit.

Speaking from experience, no matter how ugly or impractical the gift is, you should never tell your fiance after opening the present, "I'm sorry, but I can't wear it." Such was my mistake while spending Christmas in London with my former fiance.

I remember that she was excited all week and kept making phone calls to see if it was ready. I had an inkling of what she bought me, and I was hoping that I was wrong. . . I wasn't.

I'm lousy at hiding my emotions, and unfortunately for me I was staying with her family, so there was no escape. I remember her sisters crowding around me to take a closer look as I opened the present. I must have had the look of someone who had just received a turd sandwich instead of a gift from a loved one because everyone sat in stunned silence as they watched me open and try on the gift.

In my defense, other than in high school when I wore an earring (gold hoop like many of the other soccer players), I don't do man jewelry. So, the loose fitting silver bracelet engraved with a special message to me was wrong in so many ways. I tried it on, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to lie to her and tell her that I'd wear it everyday while I was in Utah and she was back in London. I told her that I would proudly display it at my desk, but under no circumstances could I wear it. Needless to say, it was not the reaction she was hoping for. Unfortunately, there is no way to exchange a personalized engraved bracelet. Merry Christmas!

12

2008-12-12T13:00:00.001-08:00

Three years ago, Jake and I lived in Albuquerque and I was pregnant with Ellie. Jake was a counselor in the Branch Presidency of the Albuquerque University Singles Branch. It was a tiny branch, so Branch activities tended to be major affairs--for example, full dinners at many holidays and fast Sundays. For Christmas, each member of the branch presidency was supposed to put on a musical number for the special Christmas sacrament meeting program.

This arrangement was fine for the Branch President, whose family is very musically inclined and all are singers. No problem for the other counselor, either, who had children in the Branch and who were also singers. They just had their kids sing. Not so easy for Jake and me. I play the piano, but as I recall, we had been specifically requested to SING. Jake loves to sing, and he sings to our kids all the time. But he is not a "singer." OK, let's be honest, there is no tune carrying going on with my awesomely capable and perfect husband. I can carry a tune and read music, but that is as far as I go. Jake informed me that Prez Jimenez (or PJ, as we liked to call him) was not going to budge on this one. As Christmas got closer and closer, we were still at a loss.

Finally, the day before the program, I decided to take one for the team. I went to Deseret Book and found a children's Nativity book with big Nativity scenes and stick-on characters. Then I showed Jake how it worked. I had Jake call Sister PJ and ask her to play the piano for us.

This is how it went down. I sang the song "The Nativity" from the Children's Songbook. (That's the song that starts "This is the season beloved of the year, Sing a rhyme Christmas time soon will be here..." and goes through all the scenes of the Nativity.) Sister PJ accompanied me. Jake had the Nativity book on a big easel and went through each scene that I sang and added characters to the scenes.

So, I know this sounds kind of dumb, but still understandable considering the circumstances, right? Well this is how you should picture it. I was very pregnant (see photo below). I am not a singer and my voice doesn't carry. And the best part was Jake, who was (1) unfamiliar with the song and (2) unfamiliar with children's books with stick-on characters, was frantically turning pages, finding the right scene, and then finding the right stick-on to go with the scene. I saw him breathe a huge sigh of relief at the end.

Our part of the production ended, and I saw more than one raised eyebrow, including someone from Stake leadership. I remember Jake was slightly concerned about that particular raised eyebrow.

Aah...the good old days of Albuquerque, where we always had to do things a little bit differently! Merry Christmas!

Teriyaki Busters

2008-12-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

Last year, Jake and I tried out a new Japanese restaurant. The Japanese restaurant search is quite important in our family. Surprisingly, we have not found very many Japanese joints in the Denver area that we would recommend. I don't remember the name of this place, but it was in Parker and it was not a close drive. The one thing I remember about this place was that we ordered the gyoza (or potstickers). I remember telling Jake, "they should really stop serving these here."

For my birthday today, Jake surprised me. This is a shocker because Jake can't keep a secret. He tells me everything. The last time he surprised me was when he proposed to me--that was a real shocker because I really didn't see it coming. (But that's another story for another blog...) He told me he was going to surprise me with our honeymoon, but he told me where we were going as soon as he had the tickets purchased. Each birthday since we've been married, I believe, has been an intended surprise, but he has told me as soon as the reservations were made each time.

This time, no spilled beans. This never happens. If you look to the right of this posting, you will see a new addition to my favorite restaurants list. Sushi Sasa. (Just so you know, when it comes to Japanese cuisine, if it isn't on my list, you really shouldn't go there. Trust me on this one.) My pet peeve with many East Asian style restaurants is the amount of sugar in everything. All the sauces are teriyaki, the sushi rice could double for a Quaker caramel rice cake, and the salad dressing is really sesame flavored syrup. Also, stay away from any place that claims to be an "Asian" restaurant. Do you know how big Asia is? Pakistan is Asia. India is Asia. The Philippines is Asia. Parts of Russia are considered Asia. Then there's your run-of-the-mill Asia of China, Japan, Korea, and etc. Or here's the real kicker: a Chinese buffet and sushi bar. And it's probably called something like "East Sea Asian Bistro." You should never eat at a place like this. Or, at least, if you do, don't tell me you ate there. Actually, don't tell me you ate there and liked it. I'm tearing my hair out just thinking about it!

I am always pleased to see an absence of the word "teriyaki" on a Japanese menu. Such was the case at Sushi Sasa. I can also report with elation that there was no sugar in the sauces in any of the dishes we ordered. The sushi rice, in Jake's words, "tasted clean." It was wonderful. Here's the rundown of our dinner:

Beef Tataki (rare seared beef): absolutely delicious

Chicken Skewers: ok, I wouldn't order it again, but great for a "beginner"

Monkfish Liver, a.k.a. foi gras of the sea: heavenly--silky, smooth, like butta. We ended up ordering a second serving of this...

"Gourmet" Sushi Plate (variety of sushi): rice flavored just right and fresh wasabi. There was no skimping on quality or quantity here. (also very reasonably priced)

Dessert: even the dessert was remarkable. Beautifully presented and certainly delicious. We had the Chocolate Mousse Cake and the Lemon Cheesecake Mousse.

I highly recommend Sushi Sasa. It's definitely up there with Sushi Den. (Izakaya Den would be up there, too, but the waiter there didn't know what he was talking about (fyi, Tamari is soy sauce), so that place gets lower marks.)

Digging in the Snow

2008-12-09T22:00:00.000-08:00

We woke up to this treat this morning. Lots of snow! Snow is still a novelty to Ellie. I don't think she knows what to do with it, but she knows that she definitely wants to be in it. Here she is trying to figure out how to play with the snow.

Two Fours

2008-12-08T21:38:00.001-08:00

Disclaimer: a week ago, I had minor hand surgery which has been a total thorn in the side of my life in general. I have stitches in my palm which hurt and the anesthetic appears to have NOT worn off. I have a numb middle finger. (You may laugh now if you like. I would if it wasn't me.) Typing is quite difficult when you have a a tender palm and a numb finger. Any typos may be attributed to the finger issue.

Here is the fourth photo from my fourth folder.
Logan Canyon, my mom, and my niece, Erika. I believe this was taken in 2006 shortly after my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, metasticized to her liver, 6 months to live. (In case you are new to my blog, my mom has survived nearly 2 1/2 years and is in terrific health today.) See the hat she's wearing? There's no hair under it. She was very sick then. No one knows how she got so healthy. Here's my hypothesis:

1. Lots of prayer, fasting, blessings, temple attendance
2. Reduction of big, out of control stresses
3. Changing to an intensely healthy diet (all vegetables, yo!) and adding exercise
4. Maybe the green stuff helped? (Fletchers, if you're reading this, you know what I'm talkin' about)
5. Competent medical care

Here's the bottom line: maybe you can't control all your health issues. None of us knows when our time will come. But, you know, if my mom can get to the brink of death and then come...no, bounce back, I think that we're at least partially in control of our health and possibly our mortality. SO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODIES!

Husband Tag Revisited

2008-11-23T09:36:00.000-08:00

Since the blog was always meant to be a collaborative effort, I think Katie felt compelled to spread some half-truths about me with the intent of provoking a response. Truthfully, I haven't been a faithful contributor to our blog other than giving Katie the ideas for all of her best posts. Since my wife claims my best quality is that I'm honest (I always thought it was my humility), allow me to set the record straight.
Husband Tag
1. Where did you meet your husband? At my apartment at BYU. He was friends with my roommate and had just broken off an engagement. Imagine how pleasant he was on that day... Despite her insinuations, I distinctly recall it being a joyful occasion all around. Good times, really! Whoever said that debating constitutional law while enjoying gluten-free snacks wasn't the perfect tonic for a broken-heart doesn't know what they are missing.
2. How long did you date before you were married? 7 months, on and off. First three months mostly off, last 3 months, engaged. I still can't believe we got married. Don't let her fool you, Katie was basically begging me to marry her after our epic first date with the Greens and the Clawsons at Mimi's Cafe, followed by a game of Wise or Otherwise at the Greens (memorable only for Drew's attempts to include phallic references in all of his answers).
3. How long have you been married? 4 1/2 years Has it really been that long?
4. What does he do that surprises you? I am utterly amazed that Jake will wake up in the middle of the night to clean up Ellie's barf with me. He also holds her hair out of her face as she's throwing up. I'm surprised she didn't mention spontaneous foot rubs and long romantic trips to Costco, not to mention multiple early morning jaunts to Joanne's after-Thanksgiving day sale.
5. What is his best feature? His butt. Not saying he doesn't have a face that's really fun to look at, but his butt sure is nice... Also, he smells nice. Does anyone else find it ironic that she mentions my butt and that I smell nice in the same sentence?
6. What is his best quality? He's honest. Again, I always thought that it was my humility.
7. Does he have a nickname for you? Yes. A few. I will not repeat them here. Best keep them to myself before I really get in trouble with Tiger Stripes.
8. What is his favorite food? Burgers? Sushi? Green chile? Foie gras? He eats it all! Anything Katie cooks. She is an awesome cook, which explains the extra 20 lbs I'm carrying around.
9. What is his favorite sport? SOCCER Particularly English Premier League soccer.
10. When and where was your first kiss? Our second date. Harryo's in Park City, October 2003. Yes, kids, we had our first kiss in a dark corner of a bar in Utah. Jake had "broken up" with me for the first time about a week previous. (There were many break-ups.) Then he changed his mind and we went to see Galactic at Harryo's. He was really antsy on that date. When I asked, "dude, what's your deal?" he told me he wanted to kiss me. <--honesty Romance is his middle name. The female perspective on things really is astounding to me.
11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Uh, Jake and I have very little in common. I can think of only two interests we share: food and travel. We've combined the two in this photo: delicious pork dinner in Tokyo. Little did I know when she would watch Avalanche games with me before we got married, she was only feigning interest. Now, I'm lucky to catch the last five minutes of a Broncos game. Good thing Judd has already demonstrated a love for watching football and soccer with his dad.
12. Do you have any children? 2 beautiful babies. Ellie, 2 1/2 and Judd, 5 months We couldn't have asked for two better kids. They're hysterical and keep us on our toes.
13. Does he have any hidden talents? Two words: karaoke Freestyle dance and the occasional dance-off.
14. How old is he? 32 and older than I. I love how Katie continues to try and pass herself off as being 28 when she's actually 34.
15. Who said I love you first? HE DID. In his parents' basement, New Year's Eve 2003. We went to see Big Head Todd that night. Actually, it was New Year's Day by that time. Again, soooo romantic. The concert was awesome, and to be fair she had been saying she loved me with her eyes ever since our first date.
16. What is his favorite music? Anything his dad likes. Jake idolizes his dad. J.J. Cale, Taj Mahal, Widespread Panic, the Grateful Dead, Paul Simon, Eric Clapton and Big Head Todd and the Monsters are just a few of my favorites. I have seen them all live except for J.J. Cale.
17. What do you admire most about him? His ability to be honest and do the right thing. No comment.
18. What is his favorite color? green Forest Green
19. Will he read this? yes. I love you Jake! Love you to!
20. Who do you tag? Heather and Wendy!

Tagged

2008-11-22T16:59:00.000-08:00

Husband Tag

1. Where did you meet your husband? At my apartment at BYU. He was friends with my roommate and had just broken off an engagement. Imagine how pleasant he was on that day...

2. How long did you date before you were married? 7 months, on and off. First three months mostly off, last 3 months, engaged. I still can't believe we got married.

3. How long have you been married? 4 1/2 years

4. What does he do that surprises you? I am utterly amazed that Jake will wake up in the middle of the night to clean up Ellie's barf with me. He also holds her hair out of her face as she's throwing up.

5. What is his best feature? His butt. Not saying he doesn't have a face that's really fun to look at, but his butt sure is nice... Also, he smells nice.

6. What is his best quality? He's honest.

7. Does he have a nickname for you? Yes. A few. I will not repeat them here.

8. What is his favorite food? Burgers? Sushi? Green chile? Foie gras? He eats it all!

9. What is his favorite sport? SOCCER

10. When and where was your first kiss? Our second date. Harryo's in Park City, October 2003. Yes, kids, we had our first kiss in a dark corner of a bar in Utah. Jake had "broken up" with me for the first time about a week previous. (There were many break-ups.) Then he changed his mind and we went to see Galactic at Harryo's. He was really antsy on that date. When I asked, "dude, what's your deal?" he told me he wanted to kiss me. <--honesty Romance is his middle name.

11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Uh, Jake and I have very little in common. I can think of only two interests we share: food and travel. We've combined the two in this photo: delicious pork dinner in Tokyo.

12. Do you have any children? 2 beautiful babies. Ellie, 2 1/2 and Judd, 5 months

13. Does he have any hidden talents? Two words: karaoke

14. How old is he? 32 and older than I.

15. Who said I love you first? HE DID. In his parents' basement, New Year's Eve 2003. We went to see Big Head Todd that night. Actually, it was New Year's Day by that time. Again, soooo romantic.

16. What is his favorite music? Anything his dad likes. Jake idolizes his dad.

17. What do you admire most about him? His ability to be honest and do the right thing.

18. What is his favorite color? green

19. Will he read this? yes. I love you Jake!

20. Who do you tag? Heather and Wendy!

Restaurant Review: Jade Garden

2008-11-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

Jake and I are food snobs. I hate to admit it, and we try not to be obnoxious about it, but we are. We like to try new restaurants and we can definitely tell you which restaurants to go to for, say, a delicious taco or which restaurants to avoid if you want a decent Japanese meal.

Every once in a while, we run into an eatery that I just can't shut up about--a place that I just can't allow to slip by unnoticed. Tonight's Chinese was just such a meal. Dinner from Jade Garden this evening can be summed up in this sentence:

IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR YOUR TASTE BUDS DON'T EAT HERE

We had a long day of errand-running today and I didn't want to bother with making dinner. I was totally pooped. Jake remembered that Jade Garden, in his youth, had been a pretty darn good joint. We decided to order take out. Here is a rundown of our dinner:

Dinner combination for 2

Pu-pu platter. Egg rolls were large and soggy. "Drumstics" were not seasoned at all. Spare ribs were dry, sugary, and smelled suspicious. Beef skewer was dry. Wonton was almost empty. The least offensive item here were the fried shrimp, because they failed to leave any kind of impression.

Hot and sour soup. This item also failed to leave any impression, other than SOMEONE PUT MUSHROOMS IN MY SOUP! (If you know me, you know what I'm talkin' about.)

Fried rice. What fried rice? I know I paid for fried rice. Where is my fried rice? I'm still looking for the fried rice. Oh, this container with the off-colored ricey stuff? Is this my fried rice?

Velvet Seafood Something Something Dish. I don't care what they call it. I call it a risk. It smelled odd. Also, SOMEBODY PUT MUSHROOMS IN IT.

Sesame Chicken. I wonder if they just order it from Panda Express...?

Jake's comment after we threw away almost everything was, "Even the fortune cookies were bad." We all know the Jake is a hypochondriac. So you can imagine what's going on at my house right now. "Do you think this is going to make me sick?...I think I'm starting to feel sick...Do you think I'm sick?" Me: "You're not sick." Jake: "I think I'm getting sick...Do I feel warm?"

This has nothing to do with the subject of this posting, but just to illustrate my hypochondriac husband, Jake also gets sick when I have morning sickness and he also "got sick and almost passed out" at the births of both of our children. Something about the stress of the situation, or something. Forgive me if I express no sympathy.

Anyway, back to Jade Garden. I have no doubt that back in the day this was a decent Chinese eatery. Today, I would have to tell you to show your body some respect and stay away.

On a positive note, if you're looking for decent, no-frills Chinese, I recommend Jasmine in Lone Tree, off of Lincoln. They are inexpensive and their ingredients are fresh. I also highly recommend Chopsticks on Federal Avenue. I have rigid restaurant-choosing rules, including never eat at a Japanese place with the word "bowl" in the name and also never eat at any kind of Asian restaurant called Chopsticks. This place totally breaks my rules, but it is the best Chinese I've eaten in this country. This is a place where you will find things like jellyfish on the menu--yum!

Open Call for Captions OR Tribute to American Democracy

2008-11-06T13:15:00.001-08:00

This is an invitation for a title for this here FINE piece of American portraiture. Personally, I like "Saddam With Baby." Note the irony of the George W. Bush T-shirt.

Yes, the shirt says "three peat" on it underneath George. The best part is on the back: an American flag with the words "George Bush for America." For all you left and right wingnuts out there.

Just so you know, this brilliant T-shirt was the brainchild of a local high school student.

The Real Thing

2008-11-06T12:28:00.000-08:00

Halloween, finally, and this is the scene:

My daughter can cry. This right here is about 8 out of 10. See the wide open mouth, real tears smeared around the eyes and cheeks, and you can't hear it, but there was some real sobbing. Quite loud and obnoxious, but still not at maximum volume or intensity. I wasn't present for this melt down, but I'm sure the sobbing sounded something like this: "Aaaaaa! Boppa don't touch my candy! Don't TOUCH MY CAAANDY! Aaaaaaa!!!!"

Soon thereafter, appeased...

Dad and the kids get their Halloween groove on. I need to watch Nacho Libre again--that was a dang good movie. It would probably be even better with a turtle and a mini-doc.

Speaking of my hot wrestling husband, when you ask him to strike a pose, he strikes a pose and he'll do it wherever it works. In this case, just after buckling the kids into the car...

This one is for Jake. He can't have his pic posted without his kids with him, so here's Bob Ross with a monkey.

Three More Days to Go

2008-10-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

This morning I was cuddling with my cute hubby and thinking how cute he is. Of course, I was mostly asleep and I never really woke up before he left for work. (OK, so I'm not the kind of wife who gets up early to make breakfast before Jake leaves in the morning...) Being mostly asleep, I also wasn't thinking of the mustache he's been sporting for four days now. If I had, I definitely would not have been thinking such sweet thoughts, let alone cuddling!

Can you tell? Facial hair = Katie repellant.

Here's last year's atrocity: Bob Ross (you know, the painter on PBS?)

And the year before: Richard Simmons (with a baby bumblebee)

No facial hair in this one, but this is what he looked like the night before:

Feel my pain!

True Love

2008-10-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

In marriage, we all have to make sacrifices in order to succeed. We might sacrifice material items, careers, or social events for the good of the marriage.

Every October, I make a sacrifice for the good of my marriage. This is the time of year my husband grows facial hair and I don't interject my own personal preference. So sacrifice #1 is I put up with nasty full beard. A couple of years ago, I approved the purchase of a high quality curly brown wig. This was actually a mutual promise: purchase is allowed if we get our money's worth out of it. Finally, when it all comes down to it, I allow my husband to be seen in public places with the horrible, horrible combination--facial hair and wig. So sacrifice #2 is personal dignity.

This year's combination: NACHO LIBRE

Doctor Doctor

2008-10-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

Ellie loves princesses, real and imaginary animals, and all things Disney. When I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween, though, she surprised us. She said, "a doctor." After Jake called every member of his immediate family to find out who put her up to such a lame Halloween costume, we realized that this was, indeed, Ellie's own idea. I thought she would change her mind, though.

She never did. So, Ellie is a doctor for Halloween. Ellie's Aunt Paden, who is a real life doctor, and her uncle Michael Angelo (that's his real name, I promise) who is almost a doctor doctor (MD, Ph.D.) were in town last week, so we got pics of all the docs together.

Now, I have to interject something here. Technically, Jake, Jake's dad, Jake's aunt Lorraine, and I are doctors, also--doctors of law. But for some reason, lawyers don't get to wear that title. Now why is that? Is there any other kind of doctor that doesn't get to be called Doctor such-and-such? And why does our daughter want to be a doctor-not-a-lawyer for Halloween?

Judd is a turtle.

We weren't just playing in the Halloween costumes. We got the kids all dressed up for our ward's Trunk-or-Treat party. Tons of fun.

A Night at the Ballet

2008-10-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

My sister and her two children flew into town a week ago and my house wasn't completely guest-ready. I had them stay in our newly finished basement, which is the nicest part of our home at this point, but there was one problem--the toilet was disconnected.

Why is the toilet in the best part of our home disconnected? It's a long story I won't get into, but it involves a Washlet (computerized toilet) and my mom.

After Jessica arrived, I removed the Washlet and reconnected the toilet. My sister watched as my husband attended to some other domestic chore. Jessica's comment: "It's weird watching you fix the plumbing while Jake is doing...well...whatever he's doing."

What an insightful commentary on our marriage.

Jessica was only here for two and a half days, which was way too short, but we managed to cram in a few things. I forgot to take my camera to the zoo, so there are no cute zoo pics. Somehow I managed to remember to snap a shot of the kids' handiwork, because this is a scene I want to preserve for posterity. (<--that was sarcasm)

This is one of those "find the hidden object" pictures. Can you find the children in this mess? There are two of them...

I call this one "Fish Head."

Judd with his Aunt Jessica who looks, literally, half her age.

Ellie spent the entire weekend following her cousin Erika around and doing everything she did.

Jake scored some awesome tickets to Swan Lake (performed by the Colorado Ballet), so we had a girls' night out. We took the light rail downtown, which I think was fun for the little girls.

The ballet was beautiful. We left after the first act, though, because: (1) it was well past Ellie's bedtime; (2) one act seemed to be more than Ellie could take of staying in one spot; and (3) because of (1) and (2), Ellie was misbehaving quite noticeably. When the lights came back on, Ellie said quite loudly, "I don't like it Mommy! I don't like it!" She was actually referring to the villain in the ballet, but I don't think that came through when she said it.

On the way home, Jessica commented, "That makes me want to do ballet again..." Jessica and I had been pretty committed dancers when we were much younger--we even danced in a local ballet company. My comment back to Jessica was, "You're nuts. I am glad to never ever ever put another pair of pointe shoes on my feet again."

Jessica and her kids had to leave the next morning. I took Ellie with us to the airport. She was not happy about her cousins leaving. In fact, she refused to say goodbye.

None of the kids cracked a smile the entire time I was at the airport. Ellie cried as I took her out to the car. It had been nearly a year since I last saw my little sister and her beautiful kids. Ellie wasn't the only one bummed to see them go.

Today, finally, Jake and I ventured to clean up. I'm not such a diligent or gifted housekeeper--I'm well aware that cleaning up a mess a week after it has happened is not good housekeeping. As I turned on the vacuum cleaner, Ellie came running out of the woodwork, grabbed her kid-sized broom, and attacked the vacuum cleaner. I had never seen her do this before and I was quite surprised. When she did the same thing to my Bissellator (that's my pet name for my carpet shampooer machine thingy), I yelled at Jake to grab the camera. Check it out.

Come visit again soon, Jessica, Erika, and Kalvin!

Jake Wants the World to Know

2008-10-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

Speaking of the child who won't use the potty...

Yesterday, as Jake was emptying a dirty diaper into the toilet, Ellie peered at her handiwork and told her Dad, "That's a turd, Daddy...A big one."

Just thought you should know.

A Few of My Favorite Things

2008-10-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

My sweet little family. This is the crew on Saturday morning watching General Conference. But...

When you take in the entire picture, you see who dominates my, (mind you, it is MY) home. A 2-year-old. Would you believe that she was able to do this in about an hour's time? When the house gets like this, I can't hang out, but Dad sure doesn't seem to mind...

I love when my kids want to cuddle with Mommy. This scene happens at least once a day. I'll be rocking Judd in the La-Z-Boy (best investment ever, BTW) and Ellie will climb on and wedge herself in the nonexistent space betweem the armrest and me. But do you see what's wrong with this picture?

Yes, the 2-year-old with the pacifier. This is one of our best kept secrets. Ellie is a very bright girl. She articulates incredible complete sentences. She knows the alphabet, can almost count to twenty, and will spend hours looking at books. But this child refuses to give up: (1) the pacifier; (2) the bottle (another closely held family secret); and (3) DIAPERS!!

Here's part 2 of the potty training saga. Ellie refuses to use the potty altogether. She absolutely will not use the potty. Except for this one time a couple of weeks ago when she took the initiative and went all by herself. The potty training book mentioned in a previous entry instructs parents to also teach the child to dump the peepee from the child potty into the adult potty and then flush the toilet. I had really strong misgivings about this aspect, but I decided to approach this whole training thing the same way I approach a recipe I have never used--go strictly by the book. MY INSTINCTS WERE CORRECT. That one time Ellie used the potty? Well, you guessed it, she not only missed the big potty, the peepee also found its way, well, EVERYWHERE.

Another reason why that book sucks.

Enough griping. Just when I think I'm at the end of my rope, holding the last straw, or teetering at the edge of the cliff, I see something like this.
My kids, cute as can be, doing something strange, but doing it together.

The rope grows another foot, I get five more straws, and the cliff is once again a safe distance away. Such is motherhood.

Get in Shape Girl

2008-10-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

Today as I was driving, I saw something that really put me in my place. An elderly woman wearing stretch pants with shorts and a tucked-in T-shirt was walking on the runner's path. Obviously getting some exercise. She also was wearing a leg brace on a leg that clearly did not bend, was holding a deformed arm close to her chest, and walked with a cane. She walked very slowly, but seemed determined.

I thought about my aches and pains--mostly brought on by pregnancy and childbirth. Chronic back and hip pain and 20-plus extra lbs., to name a few. How pathetic am I? So I'm feeling determined to really get out there and get in shape regardless of my petty ailments.

Oh, and I'm dragging my kids with me.

Princess Nutball

2008-09-22T20:04:00.001-07:00

Ellie has the beginnings of an impressive costume collection. This evening, she had me tie this princess cape on her. She spent some time running around declaring, "I'm a batman! I'm a batman!" Later, she donned this Micky Mouse hat. She then filled her shopping basket with stuffed animals and pushed it around the house. When her dad asked her what she was, she told him she was Princess Nutball.

In The Jungle

2008-09-22T19:01:00.000-07:00

I grew up in Cache Valley, where a good hike was always only a ten minute drive away. Where we live now, after a ten minute drive, you're still in the suburbs. It's very spoiled of me, I know, but since the mountains aren't nearly as convenient to get to here as they are in Cache Valley, I have not, in the two years that we have lived in Denver, been hiking here. Jake and I decided that it was time to venture out.

Actually, what really happened was I'm sick of still carrying pregnancy weight, and I'm tired of looking at my husband's pregnancy weight. I just decided that we really needed exercise and a good family outing.

So, on Saturday, we drove to Devil's Head, which is a hiking trail that ends at a fire lookout station. Jake carried Ellie in the child carrier pack and I carried Judd in the Baby Bjorn. I was feeling pretty tough about carrying my 13-plus lb. baby all the way up the mountain until I encountered a very, very pregnant woman on the way down.

At the top, you can actually climb to the lookout station and see this incredible view.

Judd kind of missed it, but he has his whole life ahead of him to see it. As we started back down the mountain, Jake began a conversation like this, "I'm going to tell you something that's probably going to make you mad." My immediate thought was that there was either something stuck to my butt or my clothes made me look fat. Oh, no. It was, "A certain significant event with a certain significant person took place up here." I almost threw a rock at him. (Before Jake and I started dating, Jake was engaged to another young lady, and he had proposed to her at the top of this trail.) I didn't know that this was where the significant event had taken place, and all I could think about at this point was that Jake had proposed to me in my mother's living room in the presence of my super pregnant sister. Hmmmm...which is more romantic? Well, I could go on and on, but I'm putting this behind me and continuing with the hike.

On the way down, it started to rain.

However, that didn't inhibit the kids' naptime.

Despite the weather and my husband's poor judgment in conversation subject matter, we had a fun time in the mountains. When we told Ellie we were hiking in the mountains, she asked if we were going to the jungle. Jake explained that we were going into a forest. Ellie responded with, "like Robin Hood?"

We need to do this more often.

Essay: How to Eat a Burger

2008-09-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

Ellie loves preschool. This is great, except for one problem--Ellie doesn't want to leave preschool. And the problem is complicated by the fact that Ellie can throw a tantrum like none I have ever seen or heard of. Believe me, you don't want to be on the crappy end of one of these. They are as long as they are violent--known to last a couple hours or more, and involve kicking, screaming, throwing herself on the ground (always on a soft surface, of course), grabbing, and more.

Thus, as incentive to get my daughter to leave "sool," I've made it routine to stop at McDonald's on the way home to get a cheeseburger Happy Meal with apple dippers and apple juice. (don't worry, preschool is only one day a week.) I always toss the caramel goop. (Whose bright idea was that anyway? Give a kid a container full of sticky sugary stuff, made with high fructose corn syrup, in which to dip fruit. How does that make a Happy Meal healthy?)

Usually, Ellie drinks all the juice, eats about half the apples, and may or may not venture to eat the burger. The last few times, however, she has changed her burger-eating technique. It goes as follows:

1. eat the top bun

2. stick a finger in the center of the meat patty

3. rip out and chew up a few chunks of the meat patty

4. swallow or spit out the meat patty chunks

5. search for the pickle throught the hole in the meat patty

6. take a gander at the cheese product attached to the meat patty

7. demand candy or pick nose

I'll admit, it's kind of gross to watch this process unfold, but it's fascinating just the same. Today, the process was followed by a demand for a banana. She pulled the peel off of one side of the banana and started eating the fruit from the middle, working her way to the ends. It was very strange. I have never seen her undertake this task in such a manner. I am reminded of something similar I once saw in a photograph of my niece, Erika.

And speaking of fast food burgers, I have one final rant. So McDonalds really, really has awful food. I know this is a sharp turn for me because I have always been a fan of the "cheeseburger" and the "chicken" nuggets there. Lately, (maybe a result of pregnancy) I just can't stomach the stuff--the taste just won't go away. So today, I thought I'd indulge myself and get a fillet-o-fish and Ellie and I could enjoy lunch together. I took my first bite, and my only thought was, "mmmmm....freshly microwaved...." Everything about the sandwich was just, well, "I don't really care how this food turns out because I couldn't care less about the poor sap who will eventually eat it..." Really! I mean, can you try to not make it so obvious that you just pulled my sandwich out of the freezer and tossed it in the nuker? I mean, really? I felt so walked on! So disappointing, even for McDonalds...

Book Review: Toilet Training in Less Than a Day

2008-09-13T12:13:00.000-07:00

My mother claims that I was toilet trained at 9 months. She claims that my sister, who was the naughtier one of us, was trained by her first birthday. Finally, she claims that my brother, who has Down Syndrome, was toilet trained by the time he was 2 years old. I don't think it surprising that I feel some pressure to have my 28-month-old trained.

We have been doing some potty practice along the way since before Ellie was a year old. At this point, she can tell when she has to go, and she can certainly use the potty all by herself when she wants to. She just doesn't usually want to. I have been listening to suggestions and personal experiences from family and friends for the last several months. Then I bought the above mentioned book. A family friend recommended it, and when I checked it out on Amazon, all of the reviews were extremely positive. My thought was that, since all these other success stories certainly were children of average intelligence, my child of (of course!) above average intelligence would most definitely be toilet trained in an hour or so. WRONG. DEAD WRONG.

Common sense would have told me that this method would not work, particularly on my junk food junkie daughter. The idea is to reward good or desired behavior and to redirect undesirable behavior. The rewards being candy, chips, soda, cookies, and other treats. I'm sure you see where this is headed. After an hour of our day together, Ellie was already showing signs of sugar-induced loss of control. This is a state in which my tiny toddler runs around in circles cackling and screaming, or some variation of such action. Then the defiance began.
Urine and defiance is a nasty combination. She peed on the family room rug. The book says that when this happens, you have the kid clean up the mess, continue to wear the soiled underpants while you have her "practice" going to the potty quickly from various locations in the home. The child is supposed to feel bad about having an accident and then learn and understand that she needs to get to the potty quickly when the urge arises.

Not with my kid. Oh no! She was proud of the fact that she peed on my rug. She laughed when I made her clean up the mess and she laughed the whole time we "practiced." Soon thereafter, when it was her nap time, she announced that she "peepeed" in mommy's bed. So I went up, pulled the sheets off my bed, and put Ellie to sleep in her bed. Five minutes later, "Mommy I peepeed in my bed!" So I took the sheets of her bed, and having run out of beds with sheets on them, I laid a blanket on the floor of her room for her. Five minutes later, "Daddy I peepeed on the blanket!" By this time, Jake and I knew that these were not accidents. Basically, we were getting spanked by our baby.

So, I laid down another blanket. Yep, again, five minutes later, "I peepeed on the blanket!" After about two more of these incidents, I put the kid back in diapers, thinking that would be the end of going up to change her. If she peed now, I would not change her.

Ten minutes later, "Daddy, I poopooed! I poopooed!" "She did it on purpose!" was Jake's reaction. Then, "Daddy, it's coming out! It's coming out!"

Ellie 10, Parents 0

I feel thoroughly beat, whipped, and spanked.

This book sucks.

Booboons

2008-09-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

Today is Labor Day, and since Daddy had the day off, we all went to the zoo--Daddy, Mommy, Ellie, Judd, and Aunt Hannah. Happy day for Ellie!

Ellie likes the covered wagon. She also rode the carousel with Daddy. She chose to ride on the baboon. Ask her to say "baboon." It's pretty funny.

Calvin-Ball

2008-08-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

I always figured I would be a rock star or a movie star or supermodel. Fairly recently I realized that those aspirations would likely never come to fruition, considering the facts that I am short, not svelte, I don't really sing, and as I recall, I hated the one drama class I took in high school. (Good thing I went to law school and married myself a lawyer...)

Imagine a certain sport where just as you think you've got the ball and you're going to score the goal, you realize that the game has changed completely. The teams are different, the shape and color of the ball have changed, and now your goal is on the other side of the field. The outcome of the game hinges on the action that you take at that point. Continue as you were? That certainly doesn't help your team. Sit down and call it quits? Well, it's only quits for you--the game will certain continue whether you participate or not. Ultimately, success only comes when you re-evaluate the situation, change your game plan, and head in a new direction. This action may not ultimately lead to success, but you have a much better chance of attaining success by taking action than by not.

In preschool, I recall marching to the front of the class for show-and-tell. I pulled my pants down to show-and-tell my new underwear, only to endure the laughter and ridicule of my little classmates. I surely was not expecting such a reaction. My new direction and goal? No more showing off underpants in class and be very cautious about what to show-and-tell in the future.

Fast forward to a few years ago when my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and was told she would be lucky to survive six more months. Talk about changing gameplans! We sold her house, secured her divorce, moved her to another state, and otherwise turned her world upside down in order to follow our new direction. Six months after that initial diagnosis, we had to change game plans once again because her cancer had miraculously gone into remission. A week ago, we faced yet another change when she moved back to her home state and took my brother with her.

Where to go from here? Well, back to where we were headed before the cancer hooplah began, I suppose. I don't think I remember what that gameplan was--I suppose we will have to come up with a new one. And I know at this point that this plan will only last until the next curveball comes our way.

Reflecting on my life as a suburban housewife who dreams of one day owning a mini-van, I guess I've put my plans of becoming a supermodel, actress, and rock star behind me. But then again, when I'm driving at night and the kids are asleep in the back seat, you may find me rocking out to U2 and Sarah McLachlan and imagining what might have been . . . .

Maid of Honor

2008-08-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

At her Aunt Paden's wedding, Ellie tried to upstage the bride. Those of you who were present know exactly what I am talking about. So it was no surprise that at her Aunt Caitlyn's wedding, Ellie threatened to take the stage, this time by parading around at will with a bouquet in one hand and a Jack-Jack Pez in the other. (Thank you, Zack!)

To our surprise, both of our rambunctious children were very well behaved. What a relief! That is, well behaved if you don't count loud flatulence coming from J.J., which, fortunately, was covered up by the sounds of open nature. Good thing it was an outdoor wedding. Jake was thoroughly amused, if not utterly proud. (If Jake was a superhero, he would be Frat Boy...) I mean, farting during a wedding and getting away with it? That could only be topped if it had happened at a funeral. (No worries, Caity, the only person who heard or knew about it at the time was Jake, and believe it or not, he didn't share this info until after the wedding.)

Ellie was very impressed with the wedding cakes. Actually, the cakes were

delicious. I had never had a red velvet cake before, so that was a treat. I tried to eat more, but my gracious husband informed me that I didn't need more cake. (Big dinner later...)

Best wishes to Caity and Keith! Thanks for inviting us on your special day and hope you enjoy all that marriage has to offer!

Go Big Red!

2008-07-21T20:57:00.000-07:00

Judd learned early on who to cheer for.

Answering the age-old question of Eastside or Westside?

2008-07-21T20:28:00.000-07:00

Judd rolls with the Westside.

The Night Stalker

2008-07-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

In the wee hours of the morning, you can be sure that there is someone skulking around the second floor where we all sleep, creeping into each bedroom and staring the sleeping occupants square in the face. Normally, such a person would be swiftly exiled from our home, but when that person is chewing on a hot pink pacifier, has a crazy baby-fro, and is 2 years old, you have to approach the issue differently.

"Whoa! What the. . ." our first reaction upon discovering the nightly visitor, illicits only a blank stare. As does "go back to bed!" Actually, the only thing she responds to is, "alright, climb in. . . " This is about the time that Jake and I stop sleeping for the night. When Eleanor was a few days old and I was fighting my way through another sleep-deprived night, I came to the realization that I would never have another full night of sleep as long as I had children living in my house. A dramatic conclusion, I know, but two years and one more child later, I'm thinking that I was showing some real prophetic insight. . .