Sunday, November 23, 2008

Husband Tag Revisited

Since the blog was always meant to be a collaborative effort, I think Katie felt compelled to spread some half-truths about me with the intent of provoking a response. Truthfully, I haven't been a faithful contributor to our blog other than giving Katie the ideas for all of her best posts. Since my wife claims my best quality is that I'm honest (I always thought it was my humility), allow me to set the record straight.
Husband Tag
1. Where did you meet your husband? At my apartment at BYU. He was friends with my roommate and had just broken off an engagement. Imagine how pleasant he was on that day... Despite her insinuations, I distinctly recall it being a joyful occasion all around. Good times, really! Whoever said that debating constitutional law while enjoying gluten-free snacks wasn't the perfect tonic for a broken-heart doesn't know what they are missing.
2. How long did you date before you were married? 7 months, on and off. First three months mostly off, last 3 months, engaged. I still can't believe we got married. Don't let her fool you, Katie was basically begging me to marry her after our epic first date with the Greens and the Clawsons at Mimi's Cafe, followed by a game of Wise or Otherwise at the Greens (memorable only for Drew's attempts to include phallic references in all of his answers).
3. How long have you been married? 4 1/2 years Has it really been that long?
4. What does he do that surprises you? I am utterly amazed that Jake will wake up in the middle of the night to clean up Ellie's barf with me. He also holds her hair out of her face as she's throwing up. I'm surprised she didn't mention spontaneous foot rubs and long romantic trips to Costco, not to mention multiple early morning jaunts to Joanne's after-Thanksgiving day sale.
5. What is his best feature? His butt. Not saying he doesn't have a face that's really fun to look at, but his butt sure is nice... Also, he smells nice. Does anyone else find it ironic that she mentions my butt and that I smell nice in the same sentence?
6. What is his best quality? He's honest. Again, I always thought that it was my humility.
7. Does he have a nickname for you? Yes. A few. I will not repeat them here. Best keep them to myself before I really get in trouble with Tiger Stripes.
8. What is his favorite food? Burgers? Sushi? Green chile? Foie gras? He eats it all! Anything Katie cooks. She is an awesome cook, which explains the extra 20 lbs I'm carrying around.
9. What is his favorite sport? SOCCER Particularly English Premier League soccer.
10. When and where was your first kiss? Our second date. Harryo's in Park City, October 2003. Yes, kids, we had our first kiss in a dark corner of a bar in Utah. Jake had "broken up" with me for the first time about a week previous. (There were many break-ups.) Then he changed his mind and we went to see Galactic at Harryo's. He was really antsy on that date. When I asked, "dude, what's your deal?" he told me he wanted to kiss me. <--honesty Romance is his middle name. The female perspective on things really is astounding to me.
11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Uh, Jake and I have very little in common. I can think of only two interests we share: food and travel. We've combined the two in this photo: delicious pork dinner in Tokyo. Little did I know when she would watch Avalanche games with me before we got married, she was only feigning interest. Now, I'm lucky to catch the last five minutes of a Broncos game. Good thing Judd has already demonstrated a love for watching football and soccer with his dad.
12. Do you have any children? 2 beautiful babies. Ellie, 2 1/2 and Judd, 5 months We couldn't have asked for two better kids. They're hysterical and keep us on our toes.
13. Does he have any hidden talents? Two words: karaoke Freestyle dance and the occasional dance-off.
14. How old is he? 32 and older than I. I love how Katie continues to try and pass herself off as being 28 when she's actually 34.
15. Who said I love you first? HE DID. In his parents' basement, New Year's Eve 2003. We went to see Big Head Todd that night. Actually, it was New Year's Day by that time. Again, soooo romantic. The concert was awesome, and to be fair she had been saying she loved me with her eyes ever since our first date.
16. What is his favorite music? Anything his dad likes. Jake idolizes his dad. J.J. Cale, Taj Mahal, Widespread Panic, the Grateful Dead, Paul Simon, Eric Clapton and Big Head Todd and the Monsters are just a few of my favorites. I have seen them all live except for J.J. Cale.
17. What do you admire most about him? His ability to be honest and do the right thing. No comment.
18. What is his favorite color? green Forest Green
19. Will he read this? yes. I love you Jake! Love you to!
20. Who do you tag? Heather and Wendy!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Tagged

Husband Tag
1. Where did you meet your husband? At my apartment at BYU. He was friends with my roommate and had just broken off an engagement. Imagine how pleasant he was on that day...

2. How long did you date before you were married? 7 months, on and off. First three months mostly off, last 3 months, engaged. I still can't believe we got married.



3. How long have you been married? 4 1/2 years

4. What does he do that surprises you? I am utterly amazed that Jake will wake up in the middle of the night to clean up Ellie's barf with me. He also holds her hair out of her face as she's throwing up.

5. What is his best feature? His butt. Not saying he doesn't have a face that's really fun to look at, but his butt sure is nice... Also, he smells nice.


6. What is his best quality? He's honest.

7. Does he have a nickname for you? Yes. A few. I will not repeat them here.

8. What is his favorite food? Burgers? Sushi? Green chile? Foie gras? He eats it all!

9. What is his favorite sport? SOCCER

10. When and where was your first kiss? Our second date. Harryo's in Park City, October 2003. Yes, kids, we had our first kiss in a dark corner of a bar in Utah. Jake had "broken up" with me for the first time about a week previous. (There were many break-ups.) Then he changed his mind and we went to see Galactic at Harryo's. He was really antsy on that date. When I asked, "dude, what's your deal?" he told me he wanted to kiss me. <--honesty Romance is his middle name.

11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Uh, Jake and I have very little in common. I can think of only two interests we share: food and travel. We've combined the two in this photo: delicious pork dinner in Tokyo.
12. Do you have any children? 2 beautiful babies. Ellie, 2 1/2 and Judd, 5 months
13. Does he have any hidden talents? Two words: karaoke


14. How old is he? 32 and older than I.

15. Who said I love you first? HE DID. In his parents' basement, New Year's Eve 2003. We went to see Big Head Todd that night. Actually, it was New Year's Day by that time. Again, soooo romantic.

16. What is his favorite music? Anything his dad likes. Jake idolizes his dad.

17. What do you admire most about him? His ability to be honest and do the right thing.

18. What is his favorite color? green

19. Will he read this? yes. I love you Jake!

20. Who do you tag? Heather and Wendy!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Restaurant Review: Jade Garden

Jake and I are food snobs. I hate to admit it, and we try not to be obnoxious about it, but we are. We like to try new restaurants and we can definitely tell you which restaurants to go to for, say, a delicious taco or which restaurants to avoid if you want a decent Japanese meal.

Every once in a while, we run into an eatery that I just can't shut up about--a place that I just can't allow to slip by unnoticed. Tonight's Chinese was just such a meal. Dinner from Jade Garden this evening can be summed up in this sentence:

IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR YOUR TASTE BUDS DON'T EAT HERE

We had a long day of errand-running today and I didn't want to bother with making dinner. I was totally pooped. Jake remembered that Jade Garden, in his youth, had been a pretty darn good joint. We decided to order take out. Here is a rundown of our dinner:



Dinner combination for 2

Pu-pu platter. Egg rolls were large and soggy. "Drumstics" were not seasoned at all. Spare ribs were dry, sugary, and smelled suspicious. Beef skewer was dry. Wonton was almost empty. The least offensive item here were the fried shrimp, because they failed to leave any kind of impression.

Hot and sour soup. This item also failed to leave any impression, other than SOMEONE PUT MUSHROOMS IN MY SOUP! (If you know me, you know what I'm talkin' about.)

Fried rice. What fried rice? I know I paid for fried rice. Where is my fried rice? I'm still looking for the fried rice. Oh, this container with the off-colored ricey stuff? Is this my fried rice?

Velvet Seafood Something Something Dish. I don't care what they call it. I call it a risk. It smelled odd. Also, SOMEBODY PUT MUSHROOMS IN IT.

Sesame Chicken. I wonder if they just order it from Panda Express...?

Jake's comment after we threw away almost everything was, "Even the fortune cookies were bad." We all know the Jake is a hypochondriac. So you can imagine what's going on at my house right now. "Do you think this is going to make me sick?...I think I'm starting to feel sick...Do you think I'm sick?" Me: "You're not sick." Jake: "I think I'm getting sick...Do I feel warm?"

This has nothing to do with the subject of this posting, but just to illustrate my hypochondriac husband, Jake also gets sick when I have morning sickness and he also "got sick and almost passed out" at the births of both of our children. Something about the stress of the situation, or something. Forgive me if I express no sympathy.

Anyway, back to Jade Garden. I have no doubt that back in the day this was a decent Chinese eatery. Today, I would have to tell you to show your body some respect and stay away.

On a positive note, if you're looking for decent, no-frills Chinese, I recommend Jasmine in Lone Tree, off of Lincoln. They are inexpensive and their ingredients are fresh. I also highly recommend Chopsticks on Federal Avenue. I have rigid restaurant-choosing rules, including never eat at a Japanese place with the word "bowl" in the name and also never eat at any kind of Asian restaurant called Chopsticks. This place totally breaks my rules, but it is the best Chinese I've eaten in this country. This is a place where you will find things like jellyfish on the menu--yum!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Open Call for Captions OR Tribute to American Democracy

This is an invitation for a title for this here FINE piece of American portraiture. Personally, I like "Saddam With Baby." Note the irony of the George W. Bush T-shirt.

Yes, the shirt says "three peat" on it underneath George. The best part is on the back: an American flag with the words "George Bush for America." For all you left and right wingnuts out there.

Just so you know, this brilliant T-shirt was the brainchild of a local high school student.

The Real Thing

Halloween, finally, and this is the scene:

My daughter can cry. This right here is about 8 out of 10. See the wide open mouth, real tears smeared around the eyes and cheeks, and you can't hear it, but there was some real sobbing. Quite loud and obnoxious, but still not at maximum volume or intensity. I wasn't present for this melt down, but I'm sure the sobbing sounded something like this: "Aaaaaa! Boppa don't touch my candy! Don't TOUCH MY CAAANDY! Aaaaaaa!!!!"
Soon thereafter, appeased...

Dad and the kids get their Halloween groove on. I need to watch Nacho Libre again--that was a dang good movie. It would probably be even better with a turtle and a mini-doc.
Speaking of my hot wrestling husband, when you ask him to strike a pose, he strikes a pose and he'll do it wherever it works. In this case, just after buckling the kids into the car...
This one is for Jake. He can't have his pic posted without his kids with him, so here's Bob Ross with a monkey.